Rise of the MuTeens Chapter 2:
Well, I'll keep the intro short. I've been a bit busy, but let's begin!
Rise of the MuTeens:
Chapter 2: Roadrunner
Convento Hermanas de La Caridad de la Rosa de Guadalupe, México:
In a small room separate from most of the Convent, the Mother Superior kept the young man until a Doctor could come. Sister Chloe volunteered to take care of him until he got better.
The room was very bare bones, a bed, a side table, and a chair. Sister Chloe was putting an ice pack on his head to lower his fever. A small groan escaped his mouth. Panicked she looked to see if there was anything that was causing him discomfort and then she saw the tent in his pants.
"I'm most definitely NOT taking care of that!" Said Soster Chloe as she began changing the bandages on his shoulder. Mother Maria Ximena and another Novice enter the room. The novice yelps at the sight of his well covered erection and Mother Maria Ximena chuckles.
"At least we know he's still alive. Now, Sister Chloe. May I speak with you for a Minute?" Said the Mother Superior. "Sister Paola shall take care of him until we return." Sister Chloe nodded and gave the bandages to Sister Paola.
"The Doctor we called hasn't come yet. I'm afraid that El Coyote might have taken her. Of that's so, then your friend's life may be in worse danger." Said Mother Maria Ximena.
"Mother, he MUST LIVE. I deeply wronged him in the past and I HAVE TO SAVE HIM. Even if he never forgives me for my transgressions, I HAVE TO SAVE HIM because he saved me!" exclaimed Sister Chloe. "If he's moved to a hospital, I'll be there for him. I need to right my wrongs, Mother Superior and his appearance here was God's work showing me that for true salvation, I must stop running from sins past and accept the consequences. If you'll excuse me, Mother Superior, I have to tend the infirm." said Sister Chloe as she reentered the room. The Mother Superior smiled as she left.
As Sister Chloe enters the room she finds Sister Paola trying to remove his pants.
"Sister Paola! What are you doing!?" Said Sister Chloe.
"He is in discomfort and it seems the pressure his pants are causing on his pee pee and I thought-"
Sister Chloe cut her off... "you thought that maybe if you relieve the pressure, he might feel better. You're in your 20s, right?" Sister Paola nodded. "By calling it a Pee Pee, I guess you never interacted with a... penis in your teenage years." Said Sister Chloe in a motherly fashion. "Oh how lucky you are, Sister Paola that you have not met Satan's pitchfork itself! said Sister Chloe. "You are curious to see it?" Asked Sister Chloe. Sister Paola nodded sheepishly. "Well, that's too bad. All you need to know is that Penises bring great pleasure to women who walk the path of the flesh, but they keep us away from the path of Christ. As a woman walking the path of Christ, you must stay away from the pleasures of the flesh!" Said Sister Chloe. "I once walked the path of the flesh and gave myself away to lust. It was HE who pulled me off the path of the flesh and put me on the path of Christ." said Chloe. "I pushed his sister into attempting suicide for petty reasons. I am deeply ashamed of my actions back then. Being 13 is no excuse for my evil actions. He actually scared me straight and after I got expelled and disowned by my parents, I found Jesus and begged for forgiveness. Now I am here. Hoping that the Lord has enough mercy to allow me redemption. Even if I feel like I don't deserve it." Sister Paola stood in awe and pointed towards the young man.
"Wait, Chloe? Chloe Chien? Is this Halloween?" Muttered Nick as he sat on the bed and groaned. "How long have I been out?" He said.
With tears coming out of her eyes, Chloe hugged Nick. "Praise Jesus and the Virgin Mary! You're OK Nick!" said Chloe. Her ample bosom was suffocating Nick and Sister Paola interjected.
"Sister Chloe, your chest is all over his face! He can't breathe!" Chloe sheepishly let go.
"Man, Ashley's gonna be so jealous when I tell her... Shit! The frogs, Leatherhead! This doesn't look like the Everglades?" remarked Nick.
"The Everglades? You're in Northern Mexico. Just a few miles from the Texas Border. You just popped out of the fountain of the convent."Chloe replied with such kindness that had Nick confused.
"So you really are a nun and this is not a dream where you and sister what's-her-name bring me back to Catholicism by having a threesome?" blurted Nick and noticed Sister Paola's face turning crimson. "Foot, Mouth... it's got to be Tuesday! I'm terribly sorry sister! I tend to be a bit crass in tense situations... but Holy... eh wow! You're a Nun! How did you go from Slut to Nun?"
Chloe took a deep breath and kneeled before Nick. "I'm terribly sorry for my awful behavior in Middle School. I do not expect you or Alicia to forgive me, but I deeply regret my actions. While this won't make up for my despicable actions back then, I've dedicated my life to serve the Lord and help others." said a sobbing Chloe.
"It's OK, Chloe. Alicia forgave you long ago. She got mad at me though. Something about 'Revenge poisons the soul'. She was right. I'm sorry that I took it so far, but it was-"
Chloe put a finger on Nick's lips. "It was the only way I could see the consequences of my actions. It was extreme, but extreme was what I needed to wake up and mend my ways. But enough about the past. What have YOU been up to? I never expected YOU of all people to join the Army!" said Chloe speaking as if she was with an old friend. "Are you hungry? You've been out for 4 days. You must be starving. There isn't much variety, but the food is home cooked and delicious!" Sister Paola whispered something in Sister Chloe's ear.
"Yes, go get Mother Maria Ximena. Also-"
Nick interjected: "Si es posible, podría comer unos huevos rancheros, un molito y una aguita de tamarindo"
Sister Paola left. Now that they were alone, Nick was blushing and said: "This is highly inappropriate, specifically since I'm speaking to a Nun, but Seriously, Chloe, did you get bigger implants?"
Chloe sighed. "Nope. These are all natural. My parents removed my implants saying that if I wanted to whore myself out, that I'd have to do it without their help. These showed up a few years later and I have an appointment to get another breast reduction."
Nick laughed and said: "Ashley is most definitely going to be super jealous when I tell her about your tits." Nick's hair stopped glowing gold. "That's better. Once I get food, it'll be MUCH better, but it'll do for now."
"You're a Mutant." said Chloe. "When did it happen?" she asked.
"Roughly about a year ago. I was at an arcade with a few friends for my birthday. The Turtles were fighting the Shredder and he activated a Mutagen Bomb. A lot of people died that day and some of the survivors decided to become a team of Mutant Superheroes. For the past year we were training and I botched our first Rescue Mission." said a dejected Nick. "I need to contact them and let them know I'm alive... crap in a hat! Leatherhead broke my communicator back in the glades. Wait! My phone! If I update my blog using the convent's Wi-Fi, Ashley will figure out my location due to the IP Address!" Exclaimed Nick.
At that moment, Mother Maria Ximena and Sister Paola enter the room with the meal.
"It appears the young man had a 'Miraculous' Recovery. Must be related to his mutant physiology." said Mother Maria Ximena. "The glowing hair and your wounds healing gave it away. Also, your wallet had a picture of Señor Bishop. The EPF are aware of your temporary stay here. Unfortunately for you, you must remain here for a few days until you heal and do us a small favor. Now Sister Paola, Sister Chloe, let's leave Mr. Cade eat his meal. Afterwards send him to my office, where I shall speak with him in private." Mother Maria Ximena escorted the sisters out.
***
EPF Headquarters, NYC:
The MuTeens were sitting at a conference room full of advanced Tech monitoring various areas across the globe. One of them was a small convent in Northern Mexico. Syrus and Bertram were analyzing the computer screens. One of the seats was replaced with a computer monitor and on it was Ashley's face.
"Why can't I get one of those android bodies the Utroms have? Maybe even put a computer screen in my belly so I can interface with the tech like them? I just want to hang out normally with people again! said Ashley.
"The downside to that is you would not be able to satisfy your sapphic desires" said Syrus nonchalantly.
"Do you get off by taking people's hopes away, Stockman?" asked an annoyed Ashley.
"Ah, it's not the same without Nicholas. While you're a decent substitute Ashley Irwin, you do not ooze 'main character overconfidence'. Nicholas Raymond Cade acts like he's the main character of his life and hasn't realized he's only a comedic relief character in mine! It's a shame he died so soon." Replied Syrus with a tinge of longing. "Yo, Sy! That's a bit harsh! We ALL Lost a friend here. There's no need to be an ass about it!" Said Bertram as he meekly shrugged.
The doors opened and John Bishop himself entered the room. Everyone shuffled and saluted Bishop.
"You're not EPF agents 'officially' so there's no need for protocol. I have come personally to congratulate you for the most part. Syrus, Bertram, your quick thinking allowed you to save Savage's life. Keeping him quiet within your body also facilitated obtaining the Punk Frogs and analyzing the virus. A cure against this virus has been facilitated via vaccination angainst the flu."
Bishop walked towards the computer screen.
"While somebody has been a bit naughty and lost her internet privileges for a week, it was Ashley's initiative to scan the various signals that allowed us to locate The Punk Frogs and Savage."
He walked towards Natsumi.
"Kage, your fast acting helped us save the Punk Frogs AND create a cure for the virus, now you did an excellent job... unlike others. Bishop glared at the empty seat. "But not all is lost. An old contact south of the Border has located the GameDude. Of course, I had to pull in sone strings and a few favors, but he's alive. Now he won't be returning soon, since he'll have to do a clean up job for our associate down south. You ARE NOT TO LEAVE THIS COMPOUND PHYSICALLY OR DIGITALLY! You're technically on a small vacation within the compound." Bishop pushed a button on the console. "Kellogg, escort the MuTeens to their guest rooms." Agent Kellogg entered the room and the MuTeens groaned.
"Yeah, yeah... I'm grounded here too! Let's go." said Kellogg as he escorted the MuTeens out. As they left, Bishop pushed another button on the console. "Cade, the MuTeens shall be attempting to escape the compound to pick up your son shortly. Make sure there's a ship ready for them."
"Understood" replied Nick Cade Sr. "You really are lucky that you have friends like that. It also helps that Bishop is interested in your powers... but let's have a ship prepped ASAP!" Said Nick Sr. As he ran towards the Hangar.
***
Convento Hermanas de La Caridad de la Rosa de Guadalupe, Mother Superior's Office:
Sister Paola and Sister Chloe brought Nick to the Mother Superior's office. They decided to wait outside while Nick spoke to the Mother Superior. While waiting outside, Sister Paola leans over and whispers to Chloe: "So, this Nick is kinda cute. Was he your boyfriend, before you walked with Jesus?" Chloe looked at her benused by the question.
"No. He wasn't my boyfriend, in fact he never liked me much. Especially after what I did to his sister. He wasn't that handsome back when we were tweens. He was well, rather plain. But he was smarmy and often knew what to say. I'd say, he CAN BE like the Serpent from Eden. A pervert with a heart of gold. I bet he's had plenty of naughty thoughts of you me and Mother Superior." whispered Chloe. "You better stay away or else you might get in trouble with the Mother Superior. I believe his mutant abilities are having an effect on us."
Confused, Sister Paola whispered: "Does that have to do with his glowing hair? Because ever since he's been here, I've felt rather curious about the male anatomy." Sister Chloe remained silent as if she were in thought.
"I don't fully understand this mutation thing. I know that animals become more human-like or viceversa. I've heard that some humans gain attributes from non-living things as well. Like there's a Mutant that is a living pile of garbage. Maybe he's got aphrodisiac powers or something. I dunno, this science stuff wasn't my forte, but there IS something sexual about it." Pondered Chloe "In any case, you should stary away from him, since it seems he's tempting you."
As Nick sat down in front of the Mother Superior's desk, he felt like being called to the Principal's office. Bookshelves covered most of the walls and Reproductions of paintings of Jesus including an Ecce Homo BEFORE the Potato Jesus incident. Nick felt himself shrinking at the sight. He felt like the whole room wanted to swallow him up.
Mother Maria Ximena turned her chair around and Nick truly saw her for the first time. She was probably in her late 40s or early 50s and had this look to her that screamed 'MILF'. Judging the way her garments draped, Nick figured she must have a slightly larger chest and hips on the wider side. Like a woman who still works out by the way of manual labor. Nick groaned and the Nun pulled over a small device.
"Bishop sends his regards. He also sent me this little gift. It partially neutralizes your game powers. More specifically those that have an effect on others like increased pheromones and other aphrodisiac effects. I have noticed an increase of lust amongst the sisters since your arrival. Therefore, you forced my hand." said the Mother Superior. "I've known Bishop for many years. I was an EPF Agent of the Mexican Branch. I retired 19 years ago." The Nun kept going about various incidents of aliens, monsters, and other matters that involved the EPF. "Now this is the part where you come in. There's a Smuggler, a Coyote, who wants to take over this convent and use it as part of his smuggling network. We cannot allow that. One it's an offense against the Lord. Two, there is some EPF tech that cannot fall into the wrong hands. Case in point the small transmat that Bishop used to send me the neutralizer designed to your powers. Three, he's a violent mutant, so that would be more down your alley."
"Of course. You helped me, I help you. A tale as old as time." replied Nick. "So I take care of this smuggler and we're clear. No strings attached?" An irritated Nick asked.
"I'm a Nun. I'm not one fore deceit and deception "
Replied mother Maria Ximena.
"You were an EPF Agent, they're ALL ABOUT deceit and deception... ESPECIALLY if you worked WITH Bishop!" Said Nick while standing up.
"I have not dismissed you yet, young man!" said the Nun with authority.
"The sooner I do my homework, the sooner I can deal with this Coyote. So, can I get the intel on the guy and do my part, Mother Superior?" said Nick in a more relaxed way, trying to butter up the Mother Superior.
"Child, when you resided in your father's scrotum, I was already a Spy. Don't try to outbullshit a bullshitter." You will no longer have any contact with any of the sisters. You will remain in your room reading, meditating, exercising, or whatever it is you do BEFORE asking for me in order to start the mission. If you have any requests you shall ask for me in written form and I'll summon you. Now you're dismissed."
Nick stood up and left to his quarters and was visibly irritated by the Nun's attitude. "Who does she think she is!?" Thought Nick. "I wasn't going to, but now I want to fuck that Nun so badly... I wasn't actively using the eroge mode with my powers. Looks like I'm going to put her on my shit list..." Nick slammed the door and took a siesta.
***
EPF HQ, New York:
Ashley was connected to the building's mainfraime and was able to locate the surveillance camera feeds. There she noticed that there was a Ship at the Docks that wasn't fully secured. Before she notified her teammates, she lowered the light intensity by 3%.
"Well, my compatriots, I located the means for absconding our imprisonment. I even lowered light intensity a little so Natsu can transport herself bipedally. I shall proceed to download myself into your cellular phones and we can begin our great escape!" Said Ashley while making a bad impression of Syrus.
"I do NOT communicate like that! My speech patterns are proper and concise! They are not obfuscated by pretenses of superiority!" whined Syrus as Bertram and Natsumi laughed. Once they exited their quarters, Natsumi scouted ahead by shadow walking. SyBert used their shape-shifting abilities to create shadow bridges for Natsumi and help her recover from bright lights.
"Two grunts coming up the corner" whispered Natsumi as SyBert transformed into a Waste Receptacle. The two grunts passed by SyBert as Natsumi jumped out their shadow into the wastebasket. Once the guards left, SyBert returned to normal and they kept going. Through the labyrinthine passages of the compound, the MuTeen quartet were playing a dangerous game of hide and seek.
*"A SURVEILLANCE CAMERA!?"*
Ashley played a video of Solid Snake reacting to the presence of a surveillance camera that startled the MuTeens.
"What the Hell, Ash!? Whispered Bertram as Syrus facepalmed.
"What our digital comrade is trying to say is the next area is under heavy surveillance including Surveillance Cameras. The immature videogame reference is a tribute to our missing comrade, Nicholas. I suggest we get out of the open and reevaluate our strategy." Murmured Syrus.
"All you had to say is heed the Metā Giā reference, Stockman-san." Whispered Natsumi. "Nick would totally have made that reference too!"
"Airducts?" Bertram asked.
"Airducts..." replied Syrus.
Entering into a maintenance closet, Sybert transformed into a Snake in order to traverse the Airducts and reach the docks.
"Do NOT even say it, Ashley Irwin! I am well aware of the reference... let us go!" Whined Syrus as he and Bertram followed Natsumi into the vent.
***
Outside the Convento de las Hermanas de La Caridad de La Rosa de Guadalupe: 19:45
Mother Maria Ximena is standing next to Nick, who is dressed like a Priest and is carrying a Silver Cane and carrying a bag with materials for an Exorcism.
"I get the Cane, but the exorcism Materials, Why?" asked Mother Maria Ximena.
"I'm supposed to be a young exorcist. That's the cover story on why a Man would be in the convent. I woll go and talk to this Coyote and persuade him. His ken will want to check my gear, so Crucifixes, holy water, and anointing oils won't be any threat to them. The cane is a distraction. They'll confiscate it, due to it's weapon potential. They'll take me to their hideout, where I'll convince him to let the doctor go and to leave you alone. If my persuation fails, good ol' American ultraviolence will." said Nick as they saw a truck approaching.
"That's them. Good luck Agent Cade." Mother Maria Ximena said. She went back inside the convent. As the pickup truck got closer, Nick noticed that he was dealing with tacky traffickers. Big black truck, with gold plated bull horns decorating the hood. A ridiculous amount of rhinestones on the grille. El Sonidito by Hechizeros blaring. Nick gritted his teeth. The Coyote's men braked the Truck dangerously close to Nick, who did not flinch. The men got off the truck. They were six in total: The Driver, the passenger, and the four guys from the back. The passenger, a short stocky man with a scraggly beard and 2 golden teeth stares at Nick:
"A ver y este pinche vato?" Said the passenger.
"Io non parlo molto spagnolo." Replied Nick in a passable Italian accent.
The passenger goes to the big guy on the back.
"Diego, tu que te pasas haciendo Duolingo, le hablas italiano al Mario éste?" The big guy nods.
"Il cane non indossa i pantaloni" said Diego.
Suppressing a laugh, Nick says: "Tu parli... mi scuzzi habla inglese?"
"Non parlo inglese, ma il gatto vende cappelli" replied Diego. "Jefe, creo que el Duolingo no sirve." said Diego.
Jefe took one look at Nick and said: "¿Oye Padre, que hace un hombre en el convento? Oh sorry you say you speak English. What is one man doing in convento? That is no-no zone for men!" said Jefe whole gesticulating with his hands. The other men aim their guns at Nick and take his cane and bag.
"Esorcista. I am one. A sister had a demon inside. I sent demon to Hell." replied Nick in broken English with some Italian mixed in.
"Cuidado con el bulto. No queremos que vaya a salir un demonio!" said Jefe to his men. Nick bends over a bit to whisper on Jefe's ear:
"Are you El Coyote? The Madre Superiora at the convent asked me to speak to El Coyote."
Jefe's eyes opened wide almost scared. "Padre, you must have some steel cojones or have no idea of what you asked." Said Jefe nervously. "¡Hugo, Paco, Luis, Ayuden al padre a subirse a la camioneta!" Exclaimed Jefe. "Don't worry Padre, I'll personalmente protect your tools. My boys will help you up!" The thugs helped Nick get on the truck. "I forgot to ask, Padre, what's your name... Just for the sake of having something on your tombstone after you speak with El Coyote..." said Jefe while laughing.
Nick adjusted his stole and calmly said:
"Bellomonte, Simone Bellomonte."
***
EPF commandeered ship flying over the Nashville skies:
The MuTeens are flying across the US to reach their location in Mexico. SyBert is piloting, while Kage is manning the weapons. Ashley has been busy scanning communications and non of them noticed the additional passenger on the ship until the cockpit doors opened. An agent with greying hair and a full salt and peppered beard entred the cockpit.
"Your escape of the compound was pretty good. You get a passing grade for that. Properly securing the vehicle to ensure there weren't any enemy combatants was a massive fail though. Bishop will be severily disappointed." Said Agent Nick Cade Sr.
The MuTeens were caught by surprised and SyBert put the ship in autopilot.
"Yo! Thats-"
"Mr. Cade!? What are you doing here!?" Exclaimed Ashley theough the ship's comms.
"You're going to pick up my son and possibly get involved in an international incident with Human and Mutant traffickers. There's no way I'd miss this kind of action. Also, I'm a much better CO than Cornflake." said Mr. Cade smugly.
"I can see where Nicholas Junior gets his ego from..." chided Syrus.
"It's not ego, Project Homointerdimensionalis Subject 02." Replied Mr. Cade coolly. "My son believes he's the hype, but I AM the hype!"
Ashley played the epic burn ohh! Meme reaction on the screens.
"My role here is as advisor and backup. This is not official EPF Business, so I'm not wearing any official EPF clothing. I'm wearing my own free agent Sneaking suit. I suggest you wear Non-EPF outfits. You're a Superhero team, you'd better start acting like one." Mr. Cade said. "I better hear you using your Superhero names... I mean they're better than the codenames Bishop has for you..."
The MuTeens were now curious.
"Cade-sama, what are our special codenames that Bishop has for us?"
"Yeah! I wanna know!" Yelled Ashley.
"They're probably something badass like: The Alchemists for Sy and me. Natsu's is already badass enough. Bet Ashley's called Webmistress or something cool." Said Bertram excitedly. "Let me guess, Nicholas Raymond Cade is Captain N, the Game Master." Replied Syrus mockingly.
"This is Bishop we're talking about. He's more cerebral and overthinks things. Also, he's old as fuck, so he went Biblical with your codenames.
Syrus is Gad, Bertram is Dan. Barbara is Dinah, Ashley is Zebulun, Natsumi is Asher, and Nick is Naphtali... His goal is to have a Team of Twelve. I don't get the connection of you guys and the tribes of Israel but Bishop's gonna Bishop. But speaking of Codenames, I cannot be called King's Rook, due to it being my EPF Codename. In honor of my son, My Codename will be Trouser Snake. It combines his love of Metal Gear and I KNOW how he calls me behind my back." said Trouser Snake while grinning like Nick would.
"Like father like son... I wonder which of us is closer to our genetic father" Syrus thought to himself.
"So, SyBertError... Ohh it's a multilayered codename! Nice! Sorry. It's been a few years since I've been in the thick of it! But I digress. We need to figure out a plan. Especially since you Don't have the whole picture." said Trouser Snake. "Nick is or was at the Convento de las Hermanas de La Caridad de la Rosa de Guadalupe. That Convent houses some EPF tech, since the Mother Superior is a former agent of the Mexican Branch, Sister Maria Ximena Cortés; One of the few Mexican Branch members to earn a Codename: Mamacita."
"Wait, Mamacita Cortés, wasn't she a pin-up model who did softcore erotic work way back then?" Squealed Ashley "Can we meet her!? Oh God! If I had a physical body, my legs would be jelly right-"
"Ashley, we're not interested in your masturbatory material." interjected Syrus. "We are here to rescue Nicholas Raymond Cade from whatever perilous situation he has gotten himself into."
Trouser Snake sighed as he rubbed his brow. "Yes, Ashley, THAT Mamacita. She contacted Bishop after Ni- GameDude popped out of a fountain. She identified the EPF clothing and His resemblance to your Truly. I was the US Mexico liason between EPF branches." TS sat down and clacked on the keys and pulled up some of the maps, and dossiers. "The Mexican Branch has been having trouble with a band of traffickers that are smuggling people, weapons, drugs, and mutants across bith sides of the border. Mutants are being kidnapped from the US and sent to Mexico to be used as weapons across Latin America. The only contact we know this Organization has in the US is Leatherhead." Said TS before pulling another file. "The leader of this organization is known as El Coyote. He's a Coyote and a coyote..."
"Are you implying that a coyote has the profession of a coyote, Mister Trouser Snake?" asked Syrus while chuckling at the situation.
"Yes. So in the words of a famous Mexican, Andale andale! Arriba arriba! Yee-haw!" Replied Trouser Snake. "I'm Cuban-born, I can't get canceled for making a Latin American reference." remarked TS before Ashley could play the That's Racist meme.
***
Rancho El Coyote: Evening:
The Gaudy truck reached an even gaudier Mansion. The foundation looked like this huge Adobe Household looking very rustic. The walls surrounding the house had a bunch of gargoyles that looked like winged coyotes. A huge garden full of nopales and blue agave plants greeted people. The huge adobe residence had two black statues of coyotes dressed like Greek gods that guarded the stairs to the house itself. Once you reached the heavy metal double doors with faux wood finish, you could appreciate Coyote's coat of arms, a Coyote's face with two AK-47s acting like the crossbones of a Jolly Roger. The doors Opened to a Penguin Butler. Jefe whispered something on the Penguin's ear. He then turned towards Nick. "You can take of the sack now, Padre. The boss will see you in a few moments." said Jefe as he signaled his boys to put Nick's gear away.
The Penguin butler waddles back in. "Please Father, follow me." Nick sighed as he readjusted his hat.
Following the Penguin butler felt like an eternity due to his extremely slow speed and that the house was apparently designed by Daedalus himself. Eventually, they reached a Basketball court sized room full of Arcade and pinball machines. Nick felt like he had died and gone to heaven. He noticed some huge chandeliers ans then at the far corner he saw a huge library of old school games and videogame consoles. Then Nick saw the TV: a 100 inch TV screen and the Coyote was playing Castlevania 2: Simon's Quest.
"Ah forgive me Father, I was playing some old school games... one could say this is our vice, isn't it Simon Belmont?" said El Coyote as he leapt from his chair and landed in front of Nick. "You are no priest." Coyote sneered. "I don't smell fear from you." Remarked a dejected Coyote as he circled Nick.
The 7ft Smuggler kept Circling Nick while growling and attempting to scare him with fake bites. Meanwhile Nick kept staring at his scarred face and ridiculous grille like a wannabe gangsta rapper. He was wearong like 100 pounds of gold chains that would put Mr. T to shame. He was wearing an outfit that screamed Scarface reference aside from it being torn by his Mutant physique. "Silent treatment, Belmont? I was told you wanted to chat with me? So, talk gringo!"
"Your attempts at intimidation won't work on me, for I am a Man of God and have faced the forces of Satan. A Mutant Mutt is nothing compared to an actual Demon." said Nick in the most 90s anime dub way. "It has come to my attention that a Doctor headed to El Convento Hermanas de La Caridad de la Rosa de Guadalupe went missing and you have a huge interest in that Convent. Connecting the dots was rather easy, Señor. So, here's the deal: I leave with the Doctor and any other prisoners you have and you get to enjoy your videogames for the rest of your life."
"What if I don't?" Said El Coyote while staring at Nick intently.
"If I feel merciful, You'll only lose your thumbs. It'll make console gaming difficult, but an arcade stick can still let you game. Problem is that your attitude is draining me out of mercy." Replied Nick while staring daggers at El Coyote.
"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Coyote laughed. "You must have some massove cojones or be incredibly stupi-"
"Yes, your little bitch already warned me about it... What is it with you people and my balls? Now it'll almost feel like a Hate crime when I kill you all." Interjected Nick.
Coyote grabbed a rifle with a Grenade Launcher attach. "You wanna play r-"
"Really? Scarface? You disgust me. Basing your entire personality on ONE single character... it seems that the boss fight is inevitable. Can you call up your henchmen and we can get this over or do I have to go through each room muttering Kawanishi-Noseguchi, Kinunobebashi, Takiyama, Uguisunomori, Tsuzumigataki, Tada, Hirano, Ichinotorii, Uneno, Yamashita, Sasabe, Kofudai, Tokiwadai, Myokenguchi" retorted Nick.
"But you're basically kissing Konami's ass right now! Exclaimed Coyote. "Alexa sound the alarm and play the Boss Music mix!" Coyote aimed his Gun at Nick. "I have a gun and you have nothing."
Nick shook his head and a nearby explosion shook the room. "Item Crash." The Bible in Nick's pocket began flinging pages, blinding and giving thousands of papercuts to Coyote. This allowed Nick to put some distance between him and Coyote.
"Pinche pendejo, te voy a matar!" Yelled Coyote. "You're the guy who fought Leatherhead!! Not only am I going to Kill you, but I'm going to use your corpse to rape all the nuns and the good Doctor!" Howled Coyote. "You can Run, but you can't Hide! The Nose Knows!" Coyote aimed at a shelf and shot a grenade. Right before the impact, Nick had leapt incredibly high and slammed the roof with his feet. Swiftly he grabbed his hat and flung it towards Coyote only grazing his arm.
"Shit, I missed!" Thought Nick as he turned the stole into a whip and swung from the chandeliers. "Meep Meep! Motherfucker!" Yelled Nick confidently.
Coyote began firing his machinegun erratically as Nick kept moving around and Taunting him with the Spanish version of the Roadrunner song. "Te voy a matar hijo de puta!" Yelled Coyote as he kept firing at Nick.
*"Click! Click!"*
Coyote had run out of Ammo. At that moment, Nick sprung out behind a Dance Dance Revolution machine and whipped the gun out of Coyote's hands and slamming it into the DDR screen. The whip turned into a stole as it fell.
"Good, now we can fight as warriors!" Exclaimed Nick. "Hand to hand is the basis of all combat. Only a fool trusts his life to a weapon!"
An exasperated Coyote yelled: "Again with Konami!? I'll fill your ass with panchinko balls since you love Konami so much!" He lunged towards Nick, who dodged by doing the splits and punching him in the balls.
"You've just been Caged, bitch!" Taunted Nick as he shifted his body to do a rising spiral attack using his feet. "RISING TACO!!"
Coyote was knocked back and smiled. "Leatherhead underestimated you. I will enjoy breaking you..." spat Coyote...
"Before we go on, you mean breaking me physically, mentally or rapist breaking?" Asked Nick. "I'm asking because I'm not onto dudes and I don't want to appear homophobic, since you've Been like super gay all night." ranted Nick.
Coyote snarled and tried to slash at Nick. First with his right arm, then with his left, but Nick dodged the moves, then he landed a body blow on Coyote and he saw a star pop above his head.
"Star Uppercut!" Yelled Nick as he hit Coyote and knocked him out. He walked towards the Priest's hat and picked it up. Coyote lunged once again...
*slash!*
"My Hand!" Nick had sliced Coyote's right forearm off. He whimpered as nick grabbed the fallen hand and used it to flip off Coyote.
"Now look who's referencing Konami?" Taunted Nick. Suddenly the doors to the room opened up and 15 of Coyote's men barged in...
"Quincemil dólares al que mate al hijo de puta!" Snarled Coyote as he was using the dropped stole to staunch the bleeding.
The first Henchman came running towards Nick. He swung his fist and hit nothing but air. Nick crouched and yelled "Flash Kick!" While pulling off a sommersault kick that Knocked him backwards. The Henchman tried kicking Nick, but he blocked the attack and countered with a punch. The Henchman managed to block the pumch and kicked Nick on the ribs, knocking some air out! "¡Puñeta!" Exclaimed Nick. The Henchman grabbed a chair and went for an overhead attack and Nick went for another Cage nut punch. This left the henchman dazed and Nick hit him with an Uppercut. The Henchman's head flew off his body. Shocked that Fatalities work in real life, he hit another Uppercut and a Second head popped off. He hit a third Uppercut and a final head popped off. Swiftly he caught the third head and flung it towards the second henchman. This freaked him out and tried to run away.
"Get over here!" Yelled Nick as he hit the Henchman with Scorpion's spear. Once he pulled the henchman over, Nick hit him with a series of flaming roundhouse kicks. "Shippuu Jinrai kyakuu!" Yelled Nick as the Henchman was being struck by the barrage of flaming kicks. The third Henchman tossed a NES Zapper at Nick, which hit him right in the face. Nick landed next to a lamp as Henchmen two, three, were approaching and a fourth one, armed with a sledgehammer showed up. Activating his VG Logic powers, Nick aimed the zapper at the lamp and shot 3 times. The three Henchmen fell dead as a Bragle showed Nick the corpses.
A fifth Henchman showed up and Nick threw the Zapper at him. He missed, but that was a distraction. Nick rotated a shelf in mid air and slammed it down on the Henchman as he whistled the Dr. Mario fever theme. "Mental Note: Puzzle game references drain me a bit too much!" Nick said to himself as he began hiding from the next three Henchmen. " Shit, need a pick-me-up!" Thought Nick. Then he saw it a vending machine with Mountain Dew. Swiftly he approached the machine and punched the Mountain Dew button. The soda fell and he grabbed the can to have a drink.
*"glug, glug!"*
"Oowah!" Grunted Nick as he sipped the soda again.
*"glug, glug!"*
"Ahh Good!" Exclaimed Nick before tossing the can in the garbage. The three Henchmen caught up to Nick due to the noise from the vending machine and him taking his sweet ass time drinking the dew. "¿Disculpen, me podrían decir en dónde se encuentran los marineros?" Said Nick as the first of the Henchmen lunged at him.
A loud beeping noise was heard and giant button prompts were popping in front of the Henchmen. Dodging and countering the clumsy attacks of the Henchmen was incredibly easy for Nick thanks to his VG Logic making this fight into a QTE. Once he had passed by them he reached one of the fallen heads from Henchman 1. He kicked it like a soccer ball while yelling "Rock ball!"
The head left Henchman 8 dazed and Nick punched him in the chest and pulled out his heart, which he then threw at Henchman 6. Being hit with the still beating heart of his partner, made him faint. Henchman 7 tried to make a run for it, but was slammed by 3 fire bursts that popped from the ground. "Powa geysa!" Nick hollered. Once Henchman 7 fell, he was out cold. The 9th Henchman came in and had an actual whip. He cracked it twice.
"¿Y que vas a hacer ahorita, wey?" asked the Henchman as he kept cracking the whip and keeping Nick at a distance. He kept approaching and Nick was backed into a corner.
"Shit!" Nick thought. "This guy is pretty good with the whip and will block everything I throw at him! There must be a way!" Then he saw it in all of its infamy, a Power Glove. Barely dodging a whiplash, Nick grabs the Power Glove and puts it on. He punches in a button combination and the Henchman began to scream.
"¿Qué carajo? ¡No me puedo mover!" The henchman drops the whip and begins to punch himself in the dick.
"I love the Power Glove, it's so BAD!!" An excited Nick said before making the Henchman poke his eyes like on the 3 Stooges.
Once again, Nick grabbed his hat and gave it an edge once more and throws it at Henchman 9, decapitating him. Once the Hat returns, he walks to the unconscious Henchman 7 and makes the hat spin like a saw at the Henchman's feet. Grabbing him by the ankles, Nick Yanks the henchman to the spinning hat, slicing him in half.
Henchman 6 was waking up, when Nick grabbed him from behind and snapped his neck. The 10th Henchman came with a machete and tried to slash Nick, who rolled out of the way. "Shit! He slashed the Power Glove!" Thought Nick as he once again retreated to the arcade cabinets. "Come on! There's got to be one I could use! Aha!" Exclaimed Nick as he saw one Silent Scope cabinet. He removed the sniper rifle from the cabinet and lined up his shot. Henchman 10 fell down with a new hole right between the eyes. "Guess that'll clear his sinuses!" Exclaimed Nick.
Hugo, Paco, and Luis entered the fray. Paco was carrying Nick's cane. "Ah cabrón, te voy a matar con tu bastón!" Yelled Paco.
Hugo and Luis were trying to circle around Nick like the Raptors from Jurassic Park... unfortunately for them, Nick has activated Detective Mode and kept track of their movements. Dashing swiftly towards Paco and sliding between his legs, allowed Nick to get his cane back. "This is too good!" Thought Nick. He jumped and pogo'd off Paco's head and shattering his skull. "Un sobrino menos" said Nick as he hummed the Moon theme from Ducktales as he jumped around with the pogo cane.
Luis was the first one to see Nick and yelled: "¡Paco está muerto, Hugo!" He lunged towards Nick, but stopped half-way. Hugo tried to jump from behind, but Nick was ready. He backflipped off the pogo cane and avoided Hugo, who landed mouth first into the cane and died impaled.
"Ay sobrino..." said Nick in a bad Donald Duck impression. Materializing a Keyblade out of thin air... "I see dead people! I'm talking about you!" Leaping into the air and jabbing the Keyblade into Luis's chest and unlocking his heart in more ways than one... The keyblade vanished and Luis laid dead with a gaping keyhole in his chest "That's the power of the Motherfucking Keyblade." Muttered Nick before realizing that Jefe was the only one left.
"DON'T MOVE MOTHERFUCKER!" Yelled Jefe. " if I see one blonde hair on your head, the doctor gets it!" said Jefe as he made the cutthroat gesture. "Tú, agarra al gringo." Jefe said to Henchman 14. Nick gets grabbed from behind by the thug, but he gets flung towards Jefe knocking the radio off Jefe's hand. "¡Agarralo!" Yelled Jefe to The Henchman as Nick ran towards the radio. Henchman 14 tries to tackle Nick, but he dodged the attack. The Henchman managed to Sparta kick Nick towards the radio. He grabs it and uses it.
"Diego, libera a los prisioneros que ya vienen los federales! ¡El cura era uno de ellos! ¡Apúrate insecto!" Said Nick while making a decent impression of Jefe. " Dos contra uno parece un poco injusto, pero a mi favor." said Nick. Henchman 14 jumped towards Nick with a flying kick that caught him off guard. Reeling from The blow, Nick stands groggily. The Henchman throws a few punches and all connect with Nick. "Crap! I'm getting tired and I feel like I've got only one chance!" Thought Nick as he was slowly geting the fight close to Jefe. Dropping the bible and Crucifix, Nick was able to grab Henchman 9's whip. Flipping over Jefe and pushing him towards Henchman 14, Nick yelled "Item crash!" and cracked the whip towards Jefe and the Henchman engulfing them in flames. After Jefe and Henchman were immolated, Nick started throwing up and fainted.
***
Rancho El Coyote: Night:
SyBert and Kage reach the doors of the complex and they find the doors open the smell of burning gunpowder, incense, and scented oils permeated the area. "Ashley, can you scan for lifeforms?" Asked Syrus, while Kage was silently making gestures to SyBert, regarding a nearby closet. Bertram noticed Kage and then followed her. Opening the door revealed th Penguin butler tied up.
"Thank you for releasing me." Said the Butler. "If you're looking for the prisoners, they're raiding the kitchen. If you're looking for the boss, he's long gone. All of his men are dead, except Diego, who ran away like a coward. Since my boss was gone, I freed the prisoners. They repaid me by locking me inside The closet."
"Was there a Gringo with your boss?" Asked Bertram. The butler shook his head.
"A priest... Simone Bellomonte he killed everyone!" Exclaimed the butler. He quickly wrote down the directions to the game room. "I would take you to the game room myself, but seeing that carnage once was one too many times in my lifetime. Said the butler as Kage pulled out her communicator: "Did you copy that?" Asked Kage.
"I'm on my way!" Said Trouser Snake. "Ashley, call Bishop and tell him to activate the Weltall-Id Protocols." Trouser Snake left the ship and reached both Kage and SyBert. He quickly readied his gun. "This gun has tranq rounds. There is a high chance I will have to shoot my son with it. Do NOT interfere. I know you care about him, but right now, what's in that room Is not the Nick you know.
Opening the doors to the game room revealed the carnage. bodies strewn everywhere with multiple degrees of mutilation. The stench of blood, feces, and burning bodies filled the room. At the center of it, Coyote's severed forearm stood there flipping off the visitors. Kage left the room nauseated.
"You mean to tell me that your son, professional slacker Nicholas Raymond Cade butchered all these people?" Said Syrus incredulously.
"Yup. This is my Son's handiwork. His pent up anger, frustration, and hatred, when left unchecked, we get this." Trouser Snake found nick lying face down in a pool of vomit. After injecting the tranquilizer, Trouser Snake picked up his son. Sybert threw a few grenades in the room in order to demolish it. Of course, Coyote's arm was taken as a trophy. On the way out they find Kage and the prisoners, Dr. Joaquina del Pilar, a school teacher Guadalupe Castro, and two young girls. Maria del Mar and Maria Mercedes. "¿Oiga doctora, puede usted echarle un ojo al muchacho que llevo al hombro en lo que llegamos al convento? Es mi hijo, por favor se lo suplico." Said Mr. Cade with a strong Cuban accent. The doctor nodded and once aboard the ship Mr. Cade took the Doctor to the ship's small sick bay.
"Your son, is he a mutant?" Asked Dr. Joaquina. "Mamacita specifically called me because she had a hurt Mutant at the convent." Mr. Cade nodded. "It's very strange to have Mutants that look 'normal' usually they end up like Coyote, or the conjoined twins you are with." Said the doctor as she prepared to scan Nick's vitals. "Don't worry King's Rook, I know my way around EPF tech. I haven't reached Codename levels yet, but we're on the same team." As she scanned Nick, she left a sigh of relief. His vitals are normal for the most part, based on his mutant physiology. His brain activity worries me. Basically, the areas that work with Self Control were completely shut off and are now currently misfiring. It also shows signs of severe trauma. Last time I saw something like this when my predecessor, Dr. Crespo was working on Project Weltall." Mr. Cade nodded. "Doctor, you just earned a trip to the New York HQ, since you're the only one to know about Project Weltall. His mother was the first subject of Project Weltall." said Cade. "What the Hell is your endgame, John." Thought Cade.
***
J.W.B. Academy, Detention Hall: 6 years ago:
Ashley was sitting on a desk, chewing gum and listening music on her Zune. A dark skinned jock was sitting on another desk reading a playbook. Nick was playing with his Gameboy Advance. "Yo! Gameboy!" said the Jock. "Could you wear headphones, or lower the volume a bit?" Nick sheepishly turned off the GBA and apologized.
"My bad. It's just that I'm new here and on my first week I got into trouble. Name's Cade! Nick R. Cade! What's your name?" Said Nick as he stretched his hands towards the jock.
"Bertram Stockman. Center Guard for the JWB Minutemen. Nice to meet you. Headphones is Ashley or something." said Bertram.
"Oh, I know. She's my best friend. We got expelled form our last school because she assisted me in getting justice." said Nick.
"It was more like bullying a bully, but that big tittied bitch deserved it!" Interjected Ashley. "You don't have to pretend you don't know me Bert, Nick is one of us!" Said Ashley.
"What you in for today, Ash?" said Bertram. "And how bout you, Cade?"
Ashley began twirling her side ponytail "I kicked some dude in the dick for calling me a dyke!" Said Ashley as she showed her goth boots with a studded steel plate on front.
"I stuffed two students in a locker for bullying my brother." said Bertram.
"Is your brother Syrus Stockman?" asked Nick. "I kinda sucker punched him in the face after making some misogynistic remarks about my sister."
"Don't sweat it! He deserved it. One thing is picking on him for being black or nerdy, but Misogyny, well, that's not a good trait." Said Bertram as the doors opened and a lanky black teen with a swollen left cheek entered the room.
"Bertram! Thank goodness you are here! This ruffian is the one who viciously attacked me without any reason!" Whined Syrus.
"Now you're acting tough because you have your brother around. Newsflash, Sy... I can take you both on if it involves protecting a lady" replied Nick.
"Of course the WHITE KNIGHT would say something like that. Remarked Syrus with disdain.
"Misogynistic cowardly incel says what?" Muttered Nick.
"What did you say!?" Exclaimed Syrus as his nostrils flared up.
"Mixed race Latino here, so stop playing the victim! You got punched for spouting misogynistic incel crap at a girl that beat you on a debate, my sister!" replied Nick in the most Phoenix Wright way possible.
"Settle down, this is detention, not WWE. Now Miss Ruiz-Reid, take a seat and join this ragtag set of misfits that feels like a bad Breakfast Club reference." said the teacher as she pointed out the desks to the newest member of this Detention session. A fair skinned Redhead with beautiful brown eyes. Nick sighed as he felt the world slow down and he heard a thousand angels sing praised to the Flaming Goddess that stood upon mere mortals.
"Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick!" Whispered Ashley.
"Yo! Cade!" Whispered Bertram as well.
"Excuse me, Nick, is it? May I sit next to you?"
Said Barbara. Nick started giggling uncontrollably. Ashley turned to Barbara and said "Sit. His brain is temporarily out of order due to lack of blood. His brain will reboot shortly. By the way, I'm Ashley Irwin, the twins are Bertram and Syrus Stockman. Bert is cool, Syrus is not. And my stuttering mess of a friend here is Nick R. Cade!"
"This is detention not a country club, just be quiet and don't leave the room." said the teacher as she kept grading papers. A few minutes later, Nick snapped out of his reverie.
"Hello, I'm Nick." He said making a Solid Snake impression. "Forgive my silence a bit earlier, but I was struck by a vision of the divine and my words weren't worthy of singing praise to the divine." Barbara giggled.
"Solid Snake as a hopeless romantic sounds kinda cute, but you're Cuter." said Barbara as both she and Nick had their faces redder than her hair.
"Wait, you game? Please say yes!" Said Nick.
"I'm not like Super hardcore, but I'm decent at Darkstalkers, Single digit Final Fantasies, minus 3, Metroid, Zelda, and Metal Gear games. Before you ask my favorite Darkstalker is Morrigan. I also love Chrono Trigger and Xenogears!"
"Ashley, pinch me!" said Nick. Barbara was becoming more perfect in Nick's eyes by the second.
"Oh no, you mentioned the 'X' game. Nick is obsessed with that game." said Ashley. "If you're unlucky enough he'd like to tag team with you to beat the game in a long weekend... And I don't think 'Red Demon Reid' would let his only daughter spend a weekend with a Cade. Yes, I know about your dad and Nick's not being exactly buddies." Barbara was taken by surprise, not that Ashley would know about her dad being a feared EPF operative, since the school was made for the children of EPF operatives. She was surprised by the idea that there was another person as obsessed with Xenogears as she was. Nick was becoming cuter in Barbara's eyes by the second.
After Detention was over, They left the Classroom and Nick stopped Barbara. "Hey, I was wondering if you'd like to hang out. You said you like videogames, and I know of an arcade Nearby... maybe we could have pizza or Lady's choice?" Barbara blushed and before she could answer, she saw her Dad at the end of the hallway.
"I'd love to, but my Dad is here and-"
"No sweat! I'll talk to him!" said Nick. He walked confidently towards Agent Reid.
"Hello, Sir! My name is Nicholas Raymond Cade and I am a fr-"
Reid looked at him and said: "My daughter is off-limits, especially to a Cade. Get out of my sight!"
Nick stood tall. "No. I will not walk away. I am standing in front of you, because I respect and appreciate her. Whatever beef you have with my progenitor, that's between you and him. I intend to be your daughter's friend and if that relationship were to change, I will come and speak to you face to face." Reid grabbed Nick by the shirt. "You think beating me up would prevent me from being your daughter's friend? Punch away, knock me out, no matter what I'll stand up. If God himself stood between us, I'd fight God for your daughter." said Nick with bravado.
"I'll put you through Hell before I let you be with my daughter!" Huffed Reid. "Barbara Ann, we're leaving!" Reid turned and left as Barbara waved Nick goodbye. Ashley popped out the nearby bathroom.
"Dude, you're so crushing hard for Barbara. She's a cutie, but her Dad is gonna be trouble. I did my research and last guy who asked her on a date ended up in the Panamanian jungle." said Ashley as she and Nick walked home. "My Mom's not going to be home tonight. The Stocktwins have some tests to tale and..."
"If I didn't know that you're a hardcore lesbian, I'd say you're jealous of Barbara... guess my boyish charms are weakening your lesbian heart. joked Nick.
"Niiiick, you dick!" joked Ashley as she poked him on the ribs with her elbow. Nick just hugged his friend and kept on walking.
"I'll just have to pick up a change of clothes at my place first. Just come with me! Only you can protect me from the gremlin and you may get a peek at your favorite MILF!" Said Nick...
"Dude, your step-mom is almost as hot as Mamacita Cortés. Just thinking about her makes me moist." Said Ashley as her face was beet red.
Cade residence:
As Nick opened the door, Ashley ran straight to the first floor bathroom. Nick passes the Living Room where Alicia's reading a book.
"Detention again, little bro?" Said Alice without lifting her head from the book. "Nick, I know that you're trying to protect me and I'm grateful for it, but you can't keep diving head first without thinking of consequences. I mean, you got expelled form our last school and I had to transfer to JWB. You even dragged Ashley with that stunt. It's a new School. Please don't fuck things up while playing hero." Pleaded Alicia as she got off the couch and Nick lifted her for a hug.
Despite being almost 14, Alicia's small barely over 3ft tall frame, made her look so much smaller. But despite being a super nerd, her small size makes her the target of bullies. It doesn't change, no matter the school: the weak must kneel before the strong. His often enrages Nick and drives him for dramatic Justice.
"Wonder Alice!" Exclaimed Ashley as she ran to hug the smaller girl. "Mr. Antisocial here made friends today... and one of them has a vagina!" Said Ashley in a spooky voice.
"A girl!? Wanted to talk with Dweebtendo here!? Ashley. Stop lying. Nick is like a straight gay BFF founder of the friendzone. There's NO girl that would want to be his friend, much less his girlfriend!?" Exclaimed Alicia.
"You know I can just set you on the shelf and you have to say the line for me to get you off... the shelf Ashley!" Said Nick.
"If you need any help geting off, my tongue is called wonderland." Said Ashley.
"Ewwwww! You're hornier than my horndog stepbro, Ash.said Alicia as she jumped off Nick.
"Damn, demoted to stepbro... hurry up and get your clothese before you stepmom comes home!" Said Ashley as she kept pushing Nick upstairs. Alicia returned to her book.
Nick's bedroom:
Ashley remained standing on a corner while Nick was looking for a change of clothes.
"Who are you and what did you do with my bestest friend, ASHLEY!? Said Nick as Ashley didn't lie down on his bed as she usually does. Nick removed his school uniform and was only wearing boxers. "Ash, you're creeping me out standing in the corner like that!" Ashley went towards Nick and whispered:
"I'm not wearing any panties." Those 5 words when uttred by a girl can make things hard for any red blooded heterosexual adolescent and it sprang into action poking out the Boxer's hole. She then grabbed the offensive phallus and shoved it back into Nick's boxers. "Dude, I'm into taco, not Shawarma." said Ashley as she walked away and flashed her butt at Nick.
"Sometimes I doubt your Lesbianism, Ash. You always find an excuse to grab my cock." retorted Nick as he put on some sweat pants and a Red Jaguars shirt.
"Dude, you need to take care of that. I'll go talk to Alice for a bit while the circus leaves town. You can think of me if you want to!" said Ashley while flashing Nick before leaving.
Cade residence: Kitchen:
Alicia was having a Grilled Cheese sandwich, when Ashley popped her head in.
"Here's the girl I was looking for, no homo!" said Ashley as she sat across the table.
"What are you planning Ashley? Does it involve my stepbrother in any way?" said Alicia coolly.
"Yes, I was planning something but it doesn't involve people. I just needed to bounce my ideas with someone, preferably a smarter person than me, to catch any hiccups on my plans." replied Ashley. "You know that I am decent with computers and-"
"If this involves hacking into school records, it's a bad idea." Interrupted Alicia. "JWB Academy's security systems are on Par with EPF and anything you do there might put your Mom's position in danger. Nick's antics have put our parents on thin ice. So whatever you're better be 100% LEGAL and not be 'technically' legal." said Alicia.
"Dude, no! That's precisely the thing! Since I'm good at computers, everyone expects my entire downtime to be about hacking and stuff! I wanna try cooking! Since you're kinda Italian, and super smart, I was wondering if you could help me make Bechdel sauce." Alice started giggling.
"Béchamel, Ashley. The sauce is Béchamel. Bechdel is a dumb test made by a feminist who regrets making it, because it undermines media that might be empowering to women because it lacks two female characters with names talking about random topics that aren't? . Meanwhile you could have media that is pure fan-service and misogynistic dreck, but since two named female characters are talking about random topics, like one of the 5 mother sauces and it automatically passes the test. Filling checkboxes for the sake of diversity. I find it disgusting and I despise people who would use the Bechdel test as a way to show theyre progressive enough." Said Alicia as both she and Ashley stare at nick who just passed by the kitchen entrance.
"Hey! Whatcha' doing?" Asked Nick.
"Talking about Béchamel" said Alice as she realized what she just did.
Nick's eyes lit up and he sprang into song. "¡Béchamel, Béchamel culo! Como si fuera ésta noche la última vez. ¡Bésame, bésame el culo, que tengo miedo a cagarme a cagarme despues!"
"Not funny, Nick!" Yelled both girls while booing Nick's off-key bastardization of a classic romantic Mexican song. Nick grabbed an apple and sliced it before offering the girls some pieces.
"Do you have any idea how long I've been waiting to do that!? MY MOM WAS ALIVE! When I thought of singing Besame el culo instead of Besame Mucho! That's how long Ive been waiting for this moment!"
"It's things like this that make me happy for being a lesbian. Boys can be so dumb at times." said Ashley.
"Yet you're HIS BEST FRIEND!" Replied Alicia.
Both girls started laughing as ashley and Nick kissed Alicia in the forehead before leaving.
Irwin residence: Front door:
Another average house very similar to Nick's, but mirrored. It was freaky. It's like the architects for this housing project were lazy and only designed One house and flipped the pland around to make the models seem different. The Irwin household was Nickhome Nick's two streets away from home just as the Cade residence was Ashley's. Both of Ashley's parents were Scientists working for the EPF. Her dad worked for the Eastern European branch, and her Mom worked in the New York HQ. Nick had only seen Ashley's father 3 times in the 6 years he had been living with his dad.
"So, what's the plan, Ash?" Said Nick.
"Not Much, just sleepover things. Spending the night with you, Ben & Jerry. The ice cream. You're the only guy I can sleep with in a totally literal sense of the word. Also, we're going to talk about Babs!" Said Ashley mischievously.
***
EPF ship currently in the courtyard of el Convento de las Hermanas de la Caridad de la Rosa de Guadalupe:
Mother Maria Ximena is accompanied by three nuns who take the two girls and the school teacher into the convent's quarters. She boards the ship with King's Rook.
"How is your son?" Asked Mamacita.
"Physically, he's well. Mentally, that's where I'm worried." Replied Mr. Cade. "Dr
Joaquina will come with me to New York as she's the only one who understands what's going on with him."
A blood curdling scream was heard from the sick bay. Thinking the worst, Mr. Cade and Mamacita ran towards sickbay. There they found Dr. Joaquina knocked out while Nick was kneeling on the floor screaming:
"I killed them all! I killed them all and I liked it! What the fuck is wrong with meeee!!?