MuTeens Gaiden V:
MuTeens Gaiden V:
Cade Residence: Nick's room:
Nick wakes up a bit dazed and confused in his room. His room looks normal, aside the lifesize cardboard cutout of Barbara.
"Niiiiiiick! Are you awake?" Yelled Alicia. "We're gonna be late for school and I can'thave my perfect attendance record ruined, due to my slacker stepbrother!" Nagged Alicia.
Nick got dressed and went to the kitchen where he saw Aurora and Mr. Cade having breakfast.
"Hi, Nick! I made croissants!" Said Aurora. She was wearing mom jeans and a light pink blouse. "The Munster is in the fridge."
"Uh, OK!? Thanks?" Said Nick as he sat doen and made a sanwich out of scrambled eggs, bacon, and the croissant. Quickly grabbing a glass, Nick went to the fridge and served himself some milk and grabbed two slices of Munster. After assembling the sandwich, Nick nuked it for a few seconds.
"Nick, you're taking my car today, as your is still in the shop. Treat her with care." Said Mr. Cade as he tossed the keys at Nick.
"Niiiiiiick! Hurry up!" Shouted Alice as she got in Mr. Cade's convertible. She was wearing s denim jacket, blue jeans, and her hair was permed.
"Gimme a sec, Gremlin!" Said Nick as he picked up his bookbag and phone. Ashe got the car out of the garage, Ashley showed up. She was wearing a neon purple shirt, suspenders and parachute pants.
"Hey Nick, Hey Gremlin!" Said Ashley as she got in the two-seater.
"Hey! I called shotgun!" Exclaimed Alicia. "There's not enough space for you here!"
"There is if one of you sits on my lap!" Said Nick. "Since Ashley's too tall, that means you can sit on my lap."
"As if, you perv!" Exclaimed Alicia. "I'd rather sit on Lesbian Fashion Tragedy's lap instead! Also, don't get handsy, Ashley!" Said Alicia as she sat on Ashley's lap.
"What's she going to get handsy with? Your non existent tits? " said Nick as Alicia scowled.
***
Ernest Percival Firestein High: Hallway:
Nick, Ashley, and Alicia enter the hallway and to the lockers. Nick opens his and on the door hangs a picture of Barbara wearing a cheerleader uniform. Nick was staring at the pic when someone tapped on his shoulder.
"Why bother with the pic, when the real thing is standing behind you?" Said Barbara.
"Ooooooooooooooooh!" Nick heard someone say but there was nobody there. Barbara leaned for a kiss, which Nick obliged and the mysterious folks oooohed again.
"Hey hey hey hey! What is going on here!? Public Displays of affection are not allowed on school grounds!" Said Bishop.
"Sorry Principal Bishop!" Said Barbara.
"Time out!" Said Nick as everything froze. "What in Mr. Belding's balding head is going on here!? Said Nick. "This feels familiar but different.. Time in!" Everything returned back to Normal. "Sorry, Principal Bishop. I'll try not to do that again."
"No lies, no attempts to gaslight me into believing that I didn't see you kissing Miss Ruiz-Reid? UM, Nicholas, I'll take you to the Nurses office. Miss Ruiz-Reid, tell Mrs. Ruiz that Mr. Cade is at the Nurse's office. He was authorized by me!" Said Bishop. "Don't you die on me, Nicholas Raymond Cade!"
"Time out!" Said Nick as everything froze. I have no idea what just happened, but it got me out of Calculus class, so I won't complain! In fact I feel like a young blond slacker from Indianafornia... Time in!"Bishop kept carrying Nick. "Sir, I can get to the infirmary..."
"Oh no, Nick! I NEED to make sure you GET to the nurse's office. That way you won't be tempted to skip class!" Said Principal Bishop.
"Oh no, sir! I wouldn't even think about akipping class!" Lied Nick as naturally as he breathed.
"Don't even think about it Cade! You need to be given the OK to return to class by the School Nurse before you can even return to class!" Said Principal Bishop. "We're in luck! Hey, Mr. Stockman! Help me take Mr. Cade to the Nurse's office."
"Sure thing Mr.B!" Said Bertram who was sporting an unbuttoned T-shirt with a bodybuilder tanktop undreneath. He also had a ridiculous Jheri Curl Mullet. "Oh hey, Preppie!"
"Bertram will stay with you until the nurse gives you the OK to return to class... I can trust Bertram watching over you, so you won't skip class, Nick..." said Principal Bishop.
***
Ernest Percival Firestein High: Nurse's office:
As Principal Bishop and Bertram carry Nick, we can see some of the students that need to be attended by the School Nurse. Among them is Sysrus, who somehow got wedgied so hard that the underpants are strapped to his chin.
"Sy! Who did this to you!?" Asked Bertram worried.
"It was the diminutive harlot, Alicia Maraviglia!" Whined Syrus while Bertram laughed. Nick Growled.
"Hello Syrus!" Said Nick with a devilish grin. "What did you say about my sister again? I thought I misheard?"
Syrus began stammering. "He-help me, Bertram!! He's gonna kill me!?" Cried Syrus.
"Sy, just apologize to Preppie for insulting Pocket Preppie... I mean you're 6ft tall and she's barely 4ft. HOW COULD SHE GIVE YOU AN ATOMIC WEDGIE!?" Said Bertram stifling a laugh.
"I-I-I-I'm so-so-sorry!" Said Syrus... "Just get me out of this mess before the Nurse sees me!"
"Syrus Stockman." Said Nurse Joaquina. "My word! How did you get stuck like that! Your circulation! Quickly, you two Help me get him into a bed!" Said Nurse Joaquina as she began cutting off his underpants.
"Nurse, Preppie and I will get some new underwear and sweatpants for Sy. No, I can't leave Preppie put of my sight, Mr. B's orders!" Said Bertram as he showed a bit of his muscles to the nurse.
***
Ernest Percival Firestein High:Locker Rooms:
As Bertram was heading to the boys' locker room, Nick sees Chloe Chien bullying Alicia. Just before she's about to put Alicia inside a locker, she notices Nick... "Oh, hi Nick! I was just telling your stepsister how cool she is..." lied Chloe.
"Listen Chienne, leave my sister alone, otherwise you might end up creampied in public... again! Remember when I creampied you last year? Said Nick as he reminisces how he had a spring loaded pie hit Chloe in the face at science class. "I have some new pranks to test and you, Chlo, are a perfect target! Okie dokie, Loki?"
Chloe turned to Alicia "You're lucky your stepbrother is here to protect you, runt!"
Alicia quickly hugged Nick. "Thankyouthankyouthankyou!"
"Just be careful, Gremlin!" Said Nick as he went to the Boy's locker room. "You got the stuff?"
"Yeah. Sy's gonna hate it, but it's the least we could do on such a short notice. Saw you with Chloe. For being such an aloof scammer, trickster, and all around asshole, you care about your stepsister... you even dropped the step when defending her." Said Bertram.
"You know, Bert?" Said Nick. "Sure, I prank folks and extort students with my schemes, but I only bully jerks who deserve it. You know Syrus deserves 90% of the bullying he receives."
"Yeah he can be a bit of a pain." Said Bertram. "Wanna Hang out at Rojo's after school?"
"I have to return Dad's car home first. I'll ask Ashley and Babs if they wanna go. Guess I'll ask the Gremlin too!" Said Nick.
"But seriously, you care about her, don'tcha?" Said Bertram.
"Yeah. She's the toughest girl I know and despite my anger after moving in with Dad because of Mom's death, she was there for me until I met Barbara. Then she went cold and distant. I tease her a bit because it's fun and I know she can take it. But I have to let her come around at her own pace... Shouldn't we be bringingnyour brother his clothes?" Said Nick.
"Preppie, we've missed two classes between all of this. How did you!?" Said Bertram.
"A magician never reveals his secrets." Said Nick.
***
Ernest Percival Firestein High: Nurse's office:
Bertram hands over Syrus his spare gym clothes, they're a bit baggys, so Syrus puts his suspenders on the pants.
"Hey, Sy!" Said Nick. "Just apologize, and try not to tick off Alicia. She's not in a good mood today. Also, we're heading to Rojo's a bit after school. If you want to-"
"No! I will not spend time with you Cade Barbarians..." whined Syrus as he left.
"I tried, Bertram..." said Nick.
"What is it today Cade? Rheumatism? Typhoid? Vaginitis?" Said an unamused Nurse Joaquina.
"I honestly don't know." Said Nick. "Principal Bishop sent me here because I told the truth?"
Nurse Joaquina's eyes widened and all color left her face. "Nicholas Raymond Cade TELLING THE TRUTH!? Jesús María y José, el fin se acerca."
"Very funny Nurse Joaquina." Replied Nick. "I guess a normal check up and then I head back to class? Or I have this ticket to the Luis Miguel concert tomorrow night and you can verify it IS an authentic ticket. Go on. Check the website." Said Nick as he handed over the ticket. Nurse Joaquina checked the ticket's validity and confirmed it was a good seat.
"What do you want for it?" Said Nurse Joaquina.
"Nothing. It's yours!" Said Nick.
"Nothing? They call you Prank King, Loki, trickster, real world Bart Simpson... with you there's always a catch, Cade..." replied Nurse Joaquina.
"Seriously, no catch, no tricks, nothing. I like the guy's voice, but he's not a 'must see perform live' kind of guy. He's no Michael Jackson, or Ricky Martin. In fact, I can recreate a LuisMi live experience with a good stereo and a life size cardboard cutout of the guy." Said Nick.
"Alright. I'll tell Bishop you aren't feeling well and that you'll have to stay here until the end of the school day and Bertram will stay as he ine instructed to ensure you won't try to skip school."
Said Nurse Joaquina
"You don't have to, Nurse..." said Nick.
"Oh, but I do... I know that owing you is far worse than being your target." Said Nurse Joaquina. "So, take a bed and nap to your heart's content. Bertram, there's a charger for your phone. You're gonna need it after babysittiny Loki."
***
Ernest Percival Firestein High: parking lot:
With the final bell dismissal, students were heading home. Nick had to fake not feeling that well to the point that he asked Ashley to drive him and Alicia home. Before leaving, Bishop himself was waiting for Nick outside.
"Don't you even think that you've avoided homework, Cade... I had miss Ruiz-Reid collect all your homework so you can do it during the weekend. Get well!" Said Bishop as he laughed smugly. Nick kept faling sickness until Bishop left.
"Wait, you faked being sick all day to skip class for no reason?" Asked Alicia.
"Not really. Bishop thought I was sick for real and sent me to the nurses office. I was planning to use my secret fake puke formula on mr. Kellogg's class."said Nick. "But you're lucky Bishop DID send me to the Nurse and I was able to deter Chloe from hurting you, Gremlin... since Ashley is driving, you'll have to sit on my lap."
"Only because you saved me today." Said Alicia.
"Guess I better start stalking you to white knight you then!" Said Nick as he kissed her forehead.
Ashley played some Lynyrd Skynyrd. Alicia blushed. Nick sighed. "I missed moments like this with you Gremlin..."
"Aaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwww!" Said the Audience that only Nick could hear.
"That's because you prefer that stupid cow over me!" Mumbled Alicia.
Once the trio got to Nick's house, Alicia had fallen asleep on Nick's arms.
"Ash, I'm gonna hit Rojo's in a few, wanna come with?" Said Nick. "Alicia, wake up. We're home. Also, I'm going to Rojo's, wanna come with me?"
"Is the stupid cow coming?" Said Alicia.
"Shoot!" Said Nick as he pulled his phone.
"Hey Babs, Bert and a couple of friends are going to hang out at Rojo's. Wanna come? Wait. You're coming here to deliver my homework, because Principal Bishop sent you... oh OK... see you in a bit, bye!" Said Nick as he hung up. " She's only bringing me my homework and won't stay long since her folks are heading to Jersey for the weekend."
Alicia smiled and began jumping with glee.
"Nick, I think your stepsister has a little crush on you." Said Ashley. "Uh, Nick, turn around." Said Ashley as she quickly closed the garage doors.
"Is not fair! You guys can go outside but I have to stay confined in this house!" Said a girl that kinda looked like Alicia crossed with a cheap puppet. Her dirty blonde hair was styled with two big cannon looking curls.
"Trib, you know you can't be outside! If the beighbors see you they couldcall the government and they'd dissect you or something!" Said nick as he tried to usher in the Neutrino princess.
"But Ashley's a neighbor and she knows me!" Said Trib.
"That's because she WAS HERE the day you crashed from Dimension X, Trib." Said Nick. "Also, Barbara's coming! You need to hide!"
"Urrrrrgh! Again with the hiding! I am a Princess! Besides, why does that stupid cow have to come here so much!?" Said Trib annoyed. "You're my fiancé."
"Trib, Upstairs, Now." Said Nick.
"Wait up, Trib! Let me tell you about school today!" Said Ashley. Once the coast was clear, Nick opened the garage door and waited for Barbara. He didn't have to wait long, since her parents drove her to the Cade residence. Swiftly she got off the car and kissed Nick.
"Ooooooooooooooooh!" Said the Audience as Nick pulled off the kiss.
"Here's the homework. An oral report for English on A Rose for Emily it's due Monday. For Calculus, Page 342, excercises 5-10. Since you missed Mr. Kellogg's lecture on the Phoenicians, he wants you to writw a report on them." Said Barbara.
"Los Fenicios... that reminds me I need to call Tío Julio. Shame I won't be seeing you until Monday."
Said Nick.
"Is Alicia happy tht the Evil Cow that stole her Stepbrother is going away for the weekend?" Said Barbara.
"You're now stupid cow." Said Nick.
"I'm wearing her down... By graduation I'll be just Cow and her friend to boot... so ask her to help you with your homework this weekend. Get that fraternal bond back." Said Barbara as Redd started to honk the horn. "See you on Monday!"
Nick got back inside to put the school stuff in his room. "Yo! Gremlin, Ash! Let's go!" Said Nick as he got out his room. Trib came running and almost tackled Nick.
"It's not fair that Alicia can go out and I have to stay inside! Why can't you hang out at home!?" Said Trib annoyed.
"I HAVE to do a ton of homework tomorrow, so I'll be here all weekend!" Said Nick. "All you have to do is convince alicia to help me with it and we can hang out here..."
"Got it! Operation Help fiancé with homework will begin when you return!" Said Trib.
Alicia came out of her room. "I'm NOT doing your homework." She said.
"I don't WANT you to do it. I want your help and that way I can hang out with you..." replied Nick.
"And me! Don't forget me!" Said Tribble.
"Let's Hit the Arcade!!" Said Ashley.
***
Rojo's Arcade and Snack Shack:
The place looked like a 1980s arcade pretending to be a 1950s diner designed by foreigners based on how America was portrayed in media.
Bertram was sitting at a booth when Ashley and Alicia entered. They located Bertram and went to his booth. Then Nick entered and the "audience" wowed him. He walks to the booth with his friends and grabs a nearby chair to Riker it. Natsumi, a waitress and a friend of the group walks towards Nick...
"Nick, why did you take that chair when your friends have a perfectly fine booth? Asked Natsumi in her best Customer Service voice.
"Well, you see, I, uh was using the chair to assert my dominance over it!" Said Nick.
"Put it back or I'll assert my dominance over you in something other than videogames." Said Natsumi in a more dark voice. Nick unrikered himself and put the chair back.
"He had been practicing that move for weeks." Said Alicia as Nick sat on the booth.
"Anyway, I'm starving!" Said Bertram. "Yo! Natsumi! I think we're ready to order!"said Bertram.
"Bābara-chan is not coming today?" Asked Natsumi. "I'll be back" said Natsumi making a very cute Schwarzenegger impression before leaving.
A minute later she returned and sat on the booth as Mrs. Hibiki, the manager came to the table. "Ah, if it isn't Nikku-kun and friends. I can see why Natsumi wanted to end her shift early. I'll take care of your order."
"Alright, Mrs. Hibiki, for appetizer, a Half pepperoni half Shiitake pizza. I'll have the double burger 1 normal patty, 1 vegan patty with cooked onions, no tomato. House fries and Large Grape Fanta" Said Bertram.
"Dino Nuggets with Ranch and a diet soda" said Ashley
"Footlong Dog with Mayo and strawberry shake!" Said Alicia.
" I'll take an order of Loaded fries with tofu and mushrooms with a Ginger ale." Said Natsumi.
"One Abomination, with Chocolate shake." Said Nick.
"Are you sure, Nikku-kun?" Asked Mrs. Hibiki "My family owes your father a huge debt of gratitude and I wouldn't want to ruin it by having his only son be hospitalized by the Abomination."
"It's OK, Auntie Aki... I'll sign the waiver." Said Nick. "Besides I need to do this in order to look cool in front of my friends and especially My sisters... Since Natsu is like a little sister to me..."
"Hey! We're born 10 months apart... I'm not little!" Said Natsumi.
"Alright, give me 25 minutes to get everything ready." Said Mrs. Hibiki. "Ichi no Imawashī!!" Yelled Mrs. Hibiki before taking the order to the kitchen.
"What's the Abomination?" Asked Alicia.
Bertram stood up and walked towards Alicia. "Ah, poor sweet child of spring... allow me to tell you the lore behind the Abomination. Take a hot dog, chop it into pieces, same with a burger, chicken tenders, nachos, fries, and every other item of the menu and put it inside a calzone. originally it was called Nirvana and it is rumored that Kurt Cobain of Nirvana was the first person who ate one whole within the specified time..."said Bertram "We all know how Kurt's life ended. Most people blame Courtney Love, but in reality it was the Abomination ruining food for him. It gained the name Abomination when Jamie Oliver named it as such while promoting his healthy food books. The catch is that it must be eaten under ten minutes." Said Bertram. "Or this is some crazy story that your stepbrother made up to raise the mythical nature of an idea he overheard some stoners talk about."
"Uh, I'll believe the Kurt Cobain story. It sounds cooler." Said Alicia... "So this is where you guys hang out..."
"Yup!" Ashley said as she hugged her and Natsumi. "You know Natsumi as her parents often visited your parents and I believe she's in your History class. Bert and Babs, who isn't present today, you already know. Then there's Syrus... Speaking of, why isn't Douche Urkel here?"
Bertram sighed. "He's mad because he was assaulted by a Gremlin that gave him an atomic wedgie... by the way WHY did you wedgied him?"
"He got mad at me because I was made Valedictorian and that this would ruin his chances at entering MIT. He contested the selection and he was shown that I fared better than him. He said some rude things that shouldn't be said to any woman. So I told him his shoe was untied and when he checked, I discovered he uses REALLY STRETCHY underwear." Said Alicia "Your brother really needs therapy and maybe stop listening to Andy tatertot."
"So, what are your plans for College?" Asked Natsumi.
"I wanna be a chef!" Said Ashley. "I know everyone thinks that since I enjoy buildong computers and I know my way around computer code that I have a future in tech." Explained Ashley. "I don't know how to explain it, but Me getting an IT Major would be like Nick Gaming professionally. But my plan B is be a V-Tuber!"
"I want to use my football Scholarship to get into Law." Said Bertram. "Not about the money, I want to be able to help the little guys to be able to stand a chance."
"Well, I am thinking Medicine..." said Alicia. "Don't you dare make a Neil Patrick Harris reference, Nick."
"I was thinking that I was going to stop calling you Gremlin and call you Dollhouse M.D." said Nick. "Dr. Gremlin doesn't have the same ring to it. But what about you. Natsumi?"
"OK but don't laugh. Fashion designer. I know that I don't look like one, but I love designing clothes. I just don't like to wear them." Nick giggled at Natsumi's comment. "Not remotely what I meant, Nick!" Natsumi replied.
"Natsumi's helped me with some of my outfits!" Said Ashley. "She has a keen eye to help people present themselves perfectly via their clothes."
"That's cool, guess your parents aren't the stereotypical Asian Parents that demand Doctors or Lawyers.." said Bertram.
"Unfortunately, that would be my Minor... they Do want a Dr. or a Lawyer." Said Natsumi sheepishly.
"We've all shared our plans except someone..." said Ashley...
"Yo! Preppie, what's your plan for college?" Asked Bertram.
"Well... I was thinking of... I don't know alright!? We've got three months before we can decide what to do with our lives and I'm afraid! I've coasted through life and now life caught up to me!" Said Nick at the verge of tears. "All I know is that if I screw up here, I'll end up like a door greeter or a security guard, because coasting through school is easy. Coasting through life is hard. I can hear the old man rambling about 'wasted potential' or how 'intelligent I am' well I'm NOT!! Guess I deserve my Eventual Minimum wage slavery... God, I peaked in High School! I'm a Yamcha!" Said Nick distraught.
"Barbara is going to go to college and become a school teacher and me? 'Thank you for shopping at Walmart, may I see your receipt?' She'll leave me for some douche named Chad. I'm a failure. The Old Man's gonna kick me out of the house and I'm not even 'cannon fodder worthy' for the Army. Heck! Even the Coast Guard rejected my application." Nick began sobbing hard. He wiped his tears. "And scene." Said Nick as he was beaming once more. "I want to study dramatic arts for voice acting. I think it's the only way I could become a videogame character. Maybe even meet my VA hero, Cam Clarke... Liquid Snake, the singing voice of Simba, the Cartoon Network He-Man..." said Nick. "He was in JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. He was D'Arby the gambler in the English dub. Fun fact, the Japanese version happens to have the Japanese VA for Liquid Snake for the same character."
"I don't want to be there when you tell your Dad about your thespian dreams." Said Alicia.
Mr and Mrs. Hibiki came with the food and Nick had the Abomination before him. It looked a lot bigger than expected but once Mr. Hibiki hit the gong, Nick began attacking the monstrous calzone. As everyone else was eating and chatting, Nick was focused on eating the heck out of the Abomination... two bites left! One bite left! Done!
"9-Bun 34-byō! New record!" Said Mr. Hibiki as Mrs. Hibiki took a picture of Nick to put on the Abomination Wall of fame, next to a picture
Of one Sumo Wrestler who ate it a 9:58, and a picture of Barbara who ate it at 9:35. "Nikku-kun you just defeated your girlfriend by 1 second! Will you remain champion or will Bābara-chan reclaim the title!? If I were you I'd let her win!" Said Mr. Hibiki.
With their stomachs full, it was time to hit the arcade itself. Ashley and Alicia hit DDR. Bertram hit the Punching Machine and skeeball, while Nick and Natsumi went to play Darkstalkers 3.
"What will be the wager, Nick R. Cade?" Said Natsumi.
"Ladies first, Natsumi." Replied Nick.
"I win, you're mine!" Said Natsumi.
"I'll tell you mine when I win" said Nick.
Natsumi picked Lilith, while Nick picked Donovan. The fight was rather close but in the end Nick managed to pull out a victory over Natsumi.
"It's over Meemaw... it's been 1,376 different realities and scenarios and you lost in all of them! Give it up! You'll never win!" Said Nick. "Vade retro Lilith!" Everything faded to black. Standing up all groggy, Nick found himself in Aibonez's office with Barbara holding him.
"Holy shit! Nick!" Said Barbara. "You're alright!? I thought I lost you after your crazy great grandma attacked."
"I guess that's Meemaw!" Replied Nick.
"Did you gave her the pet name Meemaw as a reference to Big Bang Theory?" Asked Babs. "I thought you hated that show."
"So where are we and how do we return home?" Asked Nick. "Babs, am I going nuts or do I hear Xenogears music?"
"It's Ashley! They found us!" Replied Barbara as they raced to the rooftop. "I posted a lot of stuff on social media with my phone and Ashley must have traced it back to the nearest cell tower. The Bart theme was a nice touch."
"Wait! That's Abueobed's ship! Celi told me it wasn't operational." Said Nick.
"Are you two lovebirds coming in or what?" Said Redd as he was on the boarding platform. "Come on hurry!"
Nick and Barbara got on the platform and the Probotector flew away as the Aibonez building self destructed.
"Dad, where's Mom?" Said Barbara.
"She's at school, why?" Asked Redd.
"She's been found out!! Our kidnapper, she called me a Verdosian Nephilim... the fact that she knew what a Verdosian is, puts HER in danger." Exclaimed Barbara. "I believe Bishop might suspect something, but Shredder knows too!"
"Fuck, don't tell me we're going back to school..." said Nick