Rise of the MuTeens: Chapter 9:
Rise of the MuTeens Chapter 9:
MuTeens: Merchandising
Channel 6: Burne Thompson's office: Burne is talking with Julio and an executive from Playmates Toys.
"It Seems New York is CRAZY for the MuTeens, the newest heroic sensation and everyone is into Merchandise deals with them. Since the MuTeens, have an exclusive deal with Channel 6. We thought that you could contact the MuTeens and we could work out a merch deal." Said The Playmates exec. "We could even work in an animated series and have April O'Neil and Vernon what's his name be supporting characters. Everyone wins!"
Burne looked a bit annoyed. "We've heard the same spiel from Hasbro and Mattel. In fact I have a rep of each company waiting for the MuTeens reps to show up. Julio, where the hell are they!?"
Irma buzzed Burn via the phone. Burne put it on speaker: "MuTeens incoming Mr. Thompson, stay clear of your office door!" Said Irma as a blur of gold red green and blue reched the office.
"We were coming as fast as we could but we had to prevent a fuel tanker from exploding and we stopped 2 carjackers along the way. As always any interviews will be given by our media relations hero, GameDude." Said Mary Sue.
"Let's talk toys..." said the Playmates Toys exec. "The name is Johnson." Nick yawned.
"Before you start, Johnson, I'm an action figure collector. Unfortunately, Playmates is HIGH on my shit list... as an adult collector. Your adult collectibles have been rather disappointing. Especially the hissy fit y'all threw at Super7 with THAT toyline that you got the master license of and are doing JACK SHIT with it. I remember the same bullshit maneuver that you pulled with NECA. But, I am willing to compromise." Ranted Nick. "No adult collectibles. We'd be working only kids toys that are compatible with THAT 80s toyline you cling to the master license as it's the only thing that nets you money. Maybe roleplaying items for the kids. Most definitely allow other companies to make more articulated versions based on your designs... like say, Super7 and their ultimates" Said Nick. "I suppose you have to tell your bosses that I have some demands and if we were to work together, it would be only for kids toys and not adult collectibles. Leave your info with the lovely Miss Laginstein."
The Hasbro Executive came in. Nick greeted the exec. "Hello, I'm Black.-"
"Ms. Black, let's skip the formalities and get straight to the point: Here are my 'demands'.
Same scale and compatibility with Marvel Legends. Your Star Wars Black series runs a bit shorter in scale with Marvel Legends. Variant designs must be approved by the MuTeens. There's no way I'd allow a Neon Talking Streetluge Mary Sue with AI Neon Talking Streetluge figure to be made unless that actually happens. Although a Pinkie Pie costume GaneDude would be something I'd buy in 10 seconds flat. You guys can make up villains for our heroes to fight. Also, I kinda require that Super7 is allowed to use on their Ultimates line any villain characters you create . Kinda like you do with GI Joe, transformers, and Power Rangers." Said Nick. "Leave your info with Miss Laginstein and we'll call you back."
The Mattel exec entered the Room. Nick's hair was turning gold. Babs was telepathically trying to calm Nick down.
"Hi, I'm-" the Mattel exec* was rudely interrupted.
*Scott Danien Knightlick is a parody of disgruntled former Mattel Employee Scott D. Neitlich, aka Toyguru/ Spector "Creative". I'm poking fun at the time Neitlich tried to get me doxxed and the weirdness that was Toygur v. Nefty... It's all in good fun except the oart that Nick channels my pettiness.
"Fuck you Knightlick! I ain't working with this fucking asshole. Just get the Barbie People and we'll have a set of Special Edition MuTeens Barbie dolls... well, technically using the Skipper buck... and the Kevin buck for yours truly. Call your bosses right here right now. Put them on Speaker. I don't have all day Toygoober!"
"Wait are you a He-Man collector?" Asked Knightlick...
"Yeah, you tried to get me doxxed, you fucking douchebag! Now less yapping, more calling your bosses or should I..." Nick summons the 200X Power Sword... "shitty gameboy advance He-Man game, you're welcome." Said Nick as Scott pissed his pants. "AI, you got that on video?"
"Sure thing GD! Since Toygoober took so long I'm patching you to the CEO..." said Ashley.
"Who's this?" Asked the CEO.
"Scott Knightlick, Brand Manager of Boys Toys and Manager of Mattycollector." Said Knightlick
"Oh, that clown... didn't we send you to acquire the MuTeens license?" Said the CEO.
"Hello, respectable CEO. My I am Nicholas Raymond Cade, Media Manager if the MuTeens and also the hero, GameDude. Regrettably, we must pass on the plans for a MuTeens action figure line by Mattel, due to Knightlick's unprofessional behavior online where he was personally trying to get me doxxed via a harassment campaign after I made some complaints regarding Mattycollector customer service and product quality on a personal blog read by 10 people total." Said Nick. "I'm not saying he should get fired, maybe demoted back to hotwheels proofreader. BUT I'm willing to have the MuTeens be released as Action Doll lines." Nick continued.
"The Female MuTeens coming out in a Barbie styled line, but with c-grip hands to hold action figure accessories for boys and characters like GameDude or SyBertError to be released in a Max Steel (the Barbie sized figures from a few yeard back) compatible line under the Barbie brand. Maybe retooled/redecos of some Max Steel vehicles for the male figures and the Barbie Station Wagon could be redecoed as the Actual MuTeens Chariot of Doom, which is literally an old station wagon."
"Excuse me." Said Knightlick.
"Shut up, clown! The adults are talking!" Said the CEO.
"Our leader, codenamed Mary Sue is called Barbara... in other words. She's another Barbie. We could have an ad campaign with Traditional Barbie doing traditional Barbie things then showing Barbara doing tough tomboyish superhero feats, thanking Classic Barbie for paving the way for women to be everything that they want to be. Having Barbie and the MuTeens in various adventures, from hamging out t the Mall to stopping the evil epoxicraptor (an evil raptor man that shoots a strong epoxy adhesive out of his hands) using a combination of dolls and live action. These could be sold exclusively through the Barbie collector website." Said Nick.
"AI, give the CEO my contact info, so the Barbie People can contact us and we get the lawyers to do their thing. Congratulations, you're very close of having a limited MuTeens line, Mattel. No thanks to Mr. Mattycollector here." Said Nick.
"Nick, what the fuck was that!? You made that man piss himself!? Did he really try to get you doxxed? Oh shit he did!" Said Barbara telepathically. "Also that whole me being a girl boss for the Barbie Line sounded so straight out of tumblr...
"Sorry to interrupt this business meeting, but Police are chasing Rocksteady and Bebop who are wreaking havoc on the streets!" Said Ashley via comm link.
"Now you're wishing I had a Neon Talking Street Luge, aren't ya, GameDude?" Said Mary Sue.
"As the beautiful and talented Tara Strong says: 'It's Hero Time!'" Said GameDude as he summoned the Bionic Commando arm to swing across buildings. Mary Sue floated out the window and gave chase.
***
Manhattan streets: Bebop and Rocksteady are wreaking havoc to see is they can draw out the Toitles or the Mute Teens. The point is that Shredder is wreaking Havoc everywhere in order to draw out heroes. "Hey Beebs, look it's Super Saiyan Spider-Man!" Yelled Rocksteady.
"That's one of the mute teens the Boss wants." Said Bebop. "Let's get'im!"
Nick lands atop the Toitle Tenderizer shoving a Buster sword in the engine. "Hello, I'm GameDude, I'll be your server tonight and the house's specialty of the day is canned whoopass!" As Nick Materialized a Big Fucking Gun to erase the Toitle Tenderizer. The Mutant Morons did the smart thing and jumped off the vehicle as Nick blasted it. Unbeknownst to Nick, the vehicle was boobytrapped. It had a stasis bomb that encased Nick in a bubble he couldn't burst out.
Barbara reached the scene and saw Nick trapped inside the Bubble and wearing dampener shackles on his Neck and wrists.
"SyBert told me about those Dampeners They're effective on Nick, Natsumi, and theoretically speaking, me too!" she thought as she flew towards Rocksteady and Bebop. Mentally projecting Ride of the Valkyries towards the two mutants.
"Hey Beebs, do you hear Kill da wabbit?" Asked Rocksteady.
"I'm the best there is at what I do and what I do ain't nice, if I may quote the only asshole Canadian I know of..." said Mary Sue as she Thunderpunched Bebop across the street. "Now that Bieber got porked, let's take care of you, Rocksmelly..." said Mary Sue as she began charging towards the Mutant Rhino Man. She readied up another Thunderpunch and Rocksteady didn't flinch. In fact it was Mary Sue who recoiled in pain. "What the Actual F-?" Said Mary Sue as she was knocked out by the Shredder.
"Rocksteady, Bebop! Return to the Technodrome! I need to deliver these items!" Said Shredder as he picked up Nick and Barbara.
***
MuTeens temporary Hideout underground hangar:
Syrus was reading some of Stephen Hawking's works while Bertram was working on more Superheroic elements for the Chariot of Doom to put it up to a level that it could rival the Turtle Van. Ashley jumped put of the computer as she became physical.
"Shredder took Nick and Babs! We need to get them back!" Shouted Ashley.
"The Chariot of Doom is far from battle ready. Bishop called for the Adults and they took the EPF ship. Guess we'll have to borrow Nick's Grandpa's ship. Warn Jenny, because we need to go ASAP!" Yelled Bertram as he dropped everything.
"As much as I was enjoying my solitude, our compatriots need us: it's bonding time!" Yelled Syrus as they activated their Mutastone halves.
"We are SyBertError!!" Yelled the Stockman Twins in their new improved Fused Form.
"Is this the Mutastone's doing... We look awesome!" Said SyBert... "We could go out in public without people recoiling in disgust! Right now we need a vehicle so, Let's go!"
***
Holy Cross Church:
The priest was escorting Chloe outside. "I'm sad that we're losing a member of our flock, but I understand that your circumstances put you at odds with being a nun. Our only request is to take a new name not affiliated to the Church. The Vatican will be notified of your official decision." Said the Priest.
"I'm terribly sorry for this, father, but I've been in other worlds, I've fought for my life fighting actual monsters that would've killed others if I had turned the other cheek. I am still serving the Lord just as a shepherd's dog may have to maul attackers to protect the flock." Said Chloe. "Oh, hey Alicia! What's wrong?"
"Nick and Barbara have been kidnapped!" Said Alicia while sobbing. "We have to Meet Natsumi at Times Square, so The others can pick you up."
"What are you saying? You're coming with us!' Said Chloe. "With the recent Mutant rampages, leaving you alone, unguarded would be an even bigger mistake! Nick would flip of something were to happen to you! Especially if it's MY fault. I never want to see that look on his face. Besides, if what the. Others say is true, you're the best pilot and gunner the MuTeen initiative ever had. Your scores are as good as Nick's and he has videogame powers." Said Chloe. "Besides, can you imagine how happy he'll be if he sees thw two of us teaming up? So let's go save our boyfriend and his other girlfriend!"
Freight Depot:
Shredder was riding a stolen Kia Soul with his hostages in the back. He reached the Guard at the entrance booth who stopped Shredder.
"Hey you! This is private property! Get out of here!" The guard said.
"Heavenly Dragon. Earthen Comrades" said Shredder.
"Ah, I see!" Said the guard as he let Shredder through. "Warehouse no. 4."
Shredder drove the Kia Soul towards warehouse no.4. He was greeted by a squad of Foot Ninja. They were not friendly.
"State your business!" Said the Ninja.
"You wear MY Clan's clothes and you don't know who I am? Replied Shredder. "I can't believe this is what Tatsu considers the best!"
Grabbing the guard and flinging him towards the others, Shredder entered the warehouse. A group of 10 Foot ninja surrounded him.
"I showed Mercy to the idiots at the entrance. I've run out of Mercy; stand down or die!!" Said Shredder.
"Yamero!" Said a gruff voice. "You are in Presence of Grandmaster Oroku Saki!" Tatsu approached Shredder. "Oroku-sama, zenkai no go hōmon kara zuibun to jikan ga tachimashita ne."
"Yes, it has been too long. I was contracted by Aibonez to kidnap two teenagers. They have ties to the EPF, which makes this so interesting. That blastes Octopus wants them and so does Aibonez. Her reasons are a mystery to me." Said Shredder. "You are the only one I can trust. I need to Keep the targets here and Run some tests on them. I trust that Devil Woman much less than I trust that pink octopus, Krang..."
"Oroku-sama, your daughter was recently seen in Manhattan." Said Tatsu "She took control of Foot bacl home."
"I've been too lax on little Karai. Keep me informed, old friend. If she steps out of line, I will discipline her!" Said Shredder as some Foot Ninja brought in Nick and Babs. "Make the car disappear!"
Tatsu had Nick and Babs strapped to racls laid horozontally. A medical Ninja came over and cleaned off the right arms of both Barbara and Nick. Drawing blood caused Nick to wake up.
"What the actual fuck!? Where am I? Who are you!?"
The Ninja sedated Nick and went to draw Barbara's blood. Once both samples were drawn, Shredder took them.
***
Del Valle-Rodriguez house: underground hangar:
The MuTeens and Alicia walked through the smaller transmat and saw Celeste using a Power Loader to finish the preparations for the ship.
"Jenny told me the situation and the ship is ready... and so am I!" Said Celeste. "I know y'all got EPF training and all that crap, but no one here knows this ship better than me! I have 5,000 hours on this ship's flight sim and 240 hours of actual flight on this specific ship. I can't fight, but I won't stand here and do nothing."
Alicia looked at Celeste. "Celi, give me a weapons rundown so i know what I'm dealing with..."
"Whose idea was bringing Alicia and Celeste into this?" Asked SyBert.
"Power of boners..." said Ashley... "Pretty much everyone with a Vagina inside this ship is addicted to Nick's dick or wants to try it! Hell, I'm a lesbian, as pretty much every girl on this ship can testify, and I want to jump on my half brother's magic penis."
"Wait, Nick's your half brother!?" Said Celeste.
"Mine too!" Said Natsumi. "Master Splinter's story helped me connect the dots."
"Is anyone aside us, NOT related to Nick in any way?" Said SyBert shocked. "Since Shredder has kidnapped Mary Sue, AI, Kage, Mass Mistress, Wonder Alice, and uh..."
"¿Qué, en serio tengo que usar un nombre falso?" Said Celi. "Eh screw it Valkiria! That's Spanish for Valkyrie... Buckle up, cause the MuTeens are taking Manhattan!" Said Celeste. "Jenny, Activate Transmat... SyBert! Activate Interlocks! Kage! Connect the Dynotherms! AI, Are the infracells up?"
"Aye Aye, Commander Keith!" Replied Ashley as she played an instrumental arrangement of the Voltron theme.
"Very funny, AI, but Megathrusters are go! Let's save the Mary Sue and our dude!" Exclaimed Celeste... "Just say the words, Boss!"
SyBert took a deep breath. "Valkiria, everyone... It's MuTeen time!" With that the ship roared to life and Celeste piloted it to the larger Transmat towards the Bermuda Triangle.
***
Shredder's secret safehouse #3:
Oroku Saki has various safehouses throughout New York. Some of them under the name Eric Sachs. This specific safehouse had lab equipment for Saki to analyze the blood. While the computer was doing the analyses, the landline's phone rang. This was weird since this number was unlisted. It went to the answering machine.
"Greetings, Mr. Sachs or should I say, Mr. Oroku?" Said the gruff voice of Null. "You oughta' pick up the phone, because I know of your little pets hiding under Hattori Tatsu's protection. I too want to get rid of the Oni no onna, or as she currentl-"
Shredder picked up the phone. "What do you want? You must be the sibling SHE warned me about!"
"In 3 seconds answer the door." Null hanged up.
*knock knock*
Opening the door revealed Null waiting for Shredder. There was more than meets the eye. So shredder let Null in.
"No need to offer me anything Saki." Said Null. "I'll simplify things for you. Lilith and I, are the last two beings of a higher dimension that landed here on Earth Millennia ago. Tales of our arrival were written as various religious text. My favorite being the Abrahamic ones." Said Null. "I am known by many names, two of my favorites are Lucifer and Pride. My sister, Lilith, is also known as Lust, Oroku Saki. Our kind is specifically female. We can shapeshift into a male appearance, but we are female. There is a prophecy that an Incubus shall rise and rule over the Succubi." Null continued.
"She'll become the Demon behind the throne and guide her descendant as a puppet and conquer ALL! As you can see, her plans are contrary to mine. I get off by corrupting good folks. Ruling worlds is not as exciting as corrupting the incorruptible. In fact, my business gets better when tyrants like you rule. Tyrants like my sister they raze everything."
"What about the girl?" Said Shredder.
"Ah yes the Verdosian Nephilim..." said Null. "As a Nephilim she's a distant descendant of my sister Wrath, killed by Lilith, thousands of years ago. The Verdosian in her blood is what intrigues me. They used to be a Warrior race of conquerors, but suddenly were sealed off. I didn't expect to see one on Earth. Long before your friend Krang decided to become a warlord, the Utroms were terrified of the Verdosians as Earthlings fear demons." Said Null. "Unless the girl is important to the Verdosian Royalty, I can't see her usefulness..."
"She's his girlfriend... she's a pawn to push your little demon prince to do as Lilith pleases." Said Shredder. "Perhaps, letting their little friends on this would be beneficial to you, Null..." said Shredder.
"Not just me, us... we take Lilith out, and you get a strong rival out."replied Null. "I must suppose she told you to reject any deal I offer you. In any case here's my deal: Do what you want, hand them over, kill them, breed them, let them go... The tests are done, but you will find that both specimens have human, unknown, and Traces of Retromutagen Ooze, wothin their blood." Null stood up "whatever you choose, don't keep my sister waiting, Oroku Saki."
The computer beeped and as Null said, their blood had different unidentifiable foreign components.
"Perhaps I could reverse engineer these EPF power dampeners and make them into a syphon that amplifies my own power." Thought Shredder. "Guess I would have to take down Aibonez... or let her take down her enemies, and Krang before I spring out my own trap."
***
Manhattan skyline:
As the MuTeens reach Manhattan airspace they receive a message:
"Unidentified Aircraft, You have entered United States Airspace, Identify yourselves or prepare to be shot down." Said The EPF's communications agent.
SyBert responded "EPF-MT-GAD-DAN onboard Photonixian Vessel: The Probotector, property of EPF-MT-NAPHTALI. Requesting Permission to land on Floating Station GW."
The EPF Officer stammered as knowledge of Floating Station GW is very limited. He was patched to a Higher ranking agent.
"Probotector, this is John F. Kellogg. State your business..."
"It's us, Agent Kellogg, the MuTeens. We Need Agents Cade, Cade, and Reid... also, Bishop himself!" Replied SyBert.
"Fuck! Fuck! Fuuuuuuuuuck! I thought being sent to the Floating Station GW woukd rid me from dealing with these shitheads, but nooooooo!!!" Yelled Kellogg without realizing he hadn't muted.
"Uh, Kōnfurēku-san, your mic is on..." saaid Natsumi.
"You named Nick's ship Probotector!? He would've named it Yggdrasil, or Highwind..." said Celeste.
"That's the Japanese name for Contra! It was either that or Gradius..." said SyBert. "Yo Cornflakes! The sooner you let us land and pick up our Mentors, the sooner we get out of your hair. Time is of the essence."
"Tell Bishop that Naphtali and Dinah jave been captured." Said Ashley. "That oughta speed things up. In the meantime, I'll be borrowing EPF's surveillance tech to try and locate our friends, since we're wasting time here on EPF protocol and shit!" Shouted Ashley before turning digital.
***
Freight Depot: warehouse no. 4:
Tatsu had both Nick and Barbara strapped for transportation when Nick woke up once more...
"Holy shit! It's Japanese wrestler Tomohiro Ishii... I didn't know you worked for the Foot!? Is that spicy lady around? Because I want to kick some of her 'elite ninja' for fun... Hell, I'll beat her bitch ass father if that allows me to be her friend..." rambled the heavily sedated Nick. "I'm gonna be her bestest friend and help her clean off the foot and if she lets me I'll lick her feet clean... because, Foot Clan. Probably started by a foot fetishist"
"You talk many. No talking!" Said Tatsu.
"You're doing the Miyagi shit... Not the Wax on whacks off thing, but the overpray the japanese anguru to sound scary. Well Kuso yarō, kuso yarō to you too!" Rambled Nick."I can see why Cheese grater replaced you with robots... I mean, Mitsurugi was easy to beat..."
Tatsu's eyes widened. "You made Mitsurugi crippuru!?" Exclaimed Tatsu. "Omae wa mou shinda iru."
Nick laughed "Listen Clean-san. I've seen Hokuto no ke , so I know what you said... suck it Duolingo! I also know that I'm useless dead if I was taken alive by that punk ass dishonorable bitch Oroku Saki. If that candy ass was here I'd tell him-"
"You'd tell me what?" Said Shredder angrily.
"That you are a bitch without honor and that I can kick your ass faster than I forgot his name right now, but Sports dude, yeah that's his name can be pushed into a fight... and fuck your daughter and I mean fuck as in me sticking my dicknin all her holes and stuffing her like a Turducken and making the Foot my own personal heroic ninja team! Harambe shall be avenged!" And just like that Nick dozed off.
"Watashitachiha seishin antei-zai o takusan tsukaimashita. Kare wa okite nansensuna koto o hanashi tsudzukemasu." Said Tatsu.
"What about the girl?" Asked Shredder.
"Kanojo wa akachan no yō ni nemutta" replied Tatsu.
"Load them up in a vehicle so I can go and fulfill my contract." Said Shredder.
Nick's encounter with Aibonez is in MuTeens Gaiden 4: Champion Edition
***
JWB Academy: Teacher's Lounge:
Neronica was sitting at a table drinking tea while reviewing her plans. A man in a trenchoat approached her.
"Mnemonic implants block your telepathy, Verdosian. My boss has plans for you. Before you attack me, hear me out! Isschool is wired to blow up! If for any reason I wear to lose consciousness, you can guess what will happen. So, come with me if you want them to live." Neronica went willingly as Mitsurugi left the word rematch etched on the table Neronica was working alongside his signature 御剣