Rise of the MuTeens: Chapter 11:
Rise of the MuTeens:
Chapter 11:
Go for Broke!
Disclaimer: This is obviously a fictional story. Names, people,places are all fictional, even if they're based on real World counterparts. They are parodic imitations that in no way are meant to be the originals. Especially since they're all acting out of character.
JFK airport: Noon:
Barbara and Natsumi were waiting for Miley to arrive. The flight was on time and now the first class passengers were coming out.
"Firebird and Shinobi ready to collect the package. Stand By Michael Knight, KITT" said Barbara.
"What's with the codenames?" Asked Natsumi.
"Our fathers are listening in with Blondie and that's how they do these gigs." Replied Barbara.
"I get why you're Firebird and I'm Shinobi. But shouldn't Alicia get a cool codename like Oracle, or Matrix! Blondie is kinda sexist." Replied Natsumi.
"I chose it!" Said Alicia. "Keep your eyes peeled. Package behind the elephant."
Natsumi was about to complain when she saw a guy with an elephant shirt and Miley walking behind him.
"Look to your right. Yes, you saw us. He's in the car waiting." Said Barbara telepathically.
"Package Collected. Michael, KITT pick us up at gate entrance. KITT some anti-Parker measures required." Said Natsumi as sje and Barbara escorted Miley to the vehicle. Ashley had the door ready and using her abilities, she disabled all cameras in the area. The Paparazzi were mad that their equipment wasn't working and missed out on fresh Miley pics. Once they all got in the car, Ashley digitized herself into assistant mode.
"Seatbelts, everyone, especially you, Missy. Windows are to remain rolled up while the vehicle is on the move. Sorry for the music choice, but they're what get me in the zone." Said Nick.
"Translation: 1 hour of diferent remixes of the Knight Rider theme." Said Ashley while making a bad William Daniels impression. "Cloaking device will activate once you overtake that truck, Michael."
"Oh sweet nibblets!" Said Miley.
"Eh, you get used to it." Said both Barbara and Natsumi. "Nick can be a child at times, but He's s a good guy. Now watch as how we lose the paps in less that 10 minutes."
"Nick also likes roleplaying, hence the whole Knight Rider schtick. He still hasn't brought it to the bedroom though." Said Barbara. "Sorry, TMI... guess I'm a bit nervous. I LOVE The Last Song."
"It's OK... I'm just your average singer/actress... that's nothing compared to being a teenage Superhero. In fact, I'm the one who's nervous!" Said Miley "Holy shit! Are we really going over 220MPH?"
"Yeah. This beauty can handle that and more. Shame we're in urban areas and can't use Super pursuit mode." Said Ashley. "It feels like we're not, but Nick is using Hyper Focus Mode from some games, which makes everything feel slower. There's a lot of technobabble that explains how we can decelerate ao fast without being harmed, but it's reduced to Alien Technology. Also, the old man is going to kill you, Nick..."
"We have arrived." Replied Nick. "Make yourself comfortable and give us a call for setting up the schedule of your interview rounds. Because superheroing and stuff. Please tell me you aren't going to be on Vernon..." said Nick.
"Actually, that's my last interview and I ESPECIALLY WANT YOU THERE!" Said Miley with an evil grin. "Trolling Vernon was a thing of beauty. I wouldn't mind trolling him with your presence." Said Miley while having her fingers walk over Nick's shoulders.
"Well then, just call Nick and we can figure out what to do... you must be jet lagged flying from Cali all the way to the Big Apple! Go, rest! We'll figure everything out later!" Said a slightly irritated Barbara. "We have to return the car and protect New York. It was totally awesome meeting you! Kay thanks byeeeee!" Said Barbara as she dropped Miley's luggage with the Bellhop.
Once Miley left and the MuTeens got in the car.
Barbara sighed. "Nope! Nope! Nope! Nick, your dick is forbidden to get anywhere near Miley Cyrus AND Hannah Montana. Ashley that includes you too!" Said Barbara. "Miley is RED FLAG CENTRAL!! Such a shame too! I wanted to add her to the harem."
"Yes! yes! yes! yes! yes!" Said Alicia through the headset. "What? It's hard enough having to compete with April O'Neil. Adding Hannah Montana to the mix would make it harder for me to keep Nick grounded. Local level Newscasters I can tolerate, but former Disney Channel kids might be a bit too much... except maybe Emily Osment. I like her from Spy Kids 2." Said Alicia.
"We can still hang out and do collabs with her, but we don't mix business with pleasure in her case. Understood?" Said Barbara.
"So the MuTeens Karaoke night featuring Miley Cyrus as a judge is still on?" Asked Natsumi.
"Only if Miley agrees." Said Barbara. "Licia, did you contact Celi about Saturday?"
"Yes, Cow. I did. She was so excited that she forgot to hang up and I heard her sing The Best of Both Worlds... she's good!" Replied Alicia. "Also, Dad's here. He knows."
"NICHOLAS RAYMOND CADE! YOU PUT THE BENTLEY TO GO OVER 10 Gs IN A POPULATED AREA!?" said Mr.Cade angrily over the car speakers.
"Well, uh, you see, sir..." Nick stammered.
"We'll talk when you get here. Oh you've arrived." Said Mr. Cade as he walked to the garage and stood ominously looking over Nick.
"Handles like a dream, right? I bet it was even better with your abilities! Excellent choice in disguise. Aurora facepalmed hard when she saw that you used KITT as well."said Mr.Cade. "Next time you need the car, please use the General Lee disguise!"
Nick was shocked. "I'm not dead? Who ARE YOU and what did you do to the Old Man!?"
"He's still my husband. It's just that he's pleasantly surprised that you completed the mission in a similar way to what he would've done. All the way to the Knight Rider schtick. You Cades love your old American TV shows." Said Aurora. "In any case, you all should go wash up so we can have lunch. Syrus, be a dear and notify the rest that we'll be eating down here."
---
With everyone at the table including Redd, Neronica, Carlotta, and Dr.Joaquina, Aurora stood up.
"This team has been some sort of strange experience. Like a weird family. I know that some are closer to each other in ways that would be considered abnormal and immoral by society... but then again, we're a group made out of humans. cyborgs, mutants, monster, and aliens. Normal, we're not. But despite everything, we care about each other." Said Aurora. "Christmas is coming up soon and due to our line of work, we may not be together like this to spend the actual holidays. Let us spend today like some sort of family. Enjoy the meal!"
"Thank you Mrs. Cade... for the gesture." Said Syrus. "I normally am not a fan of all this sentimentality nonsense, but thank you all for being there for me and Bertram."
"Well, shi... Y'all got my little brother all sentimental. Could you pass me the Parmesan, Natsumi?" Said Bertram.
"Sugoi! This Lasagne is delicious!" Exclaimed Natsumi.
"Carlotta and I made them!" Said Alicia. "Well, Carlotta did most of the assembly... since I was watching Disney Channel... but I prepped the sauce and Bechamel from scratch!"
"No fair! I wanted to learn how to make Bechamel!" Said Ashley.
"Mrs. Aurora, these bread rolls are delicious! Did you make these?" Said Chloe.
"Those are Neronica's, actually." Said Aurora.
Nick's hair glowed gold and a sign popped up:
Unlocked Trophy: Bechdel Passed.
All the females yelled in unison: "Nick, you asshole!" Then everyone laughed.
***
Rooftop at Night:
SyBert was in their HellRayzor persona, Raphael was wearing the Nightwatcher suit, Casey was wearing the Skull motif suit and Nick was standing there laughing...
"So this is what you guys are up to at night? Edgelord vigilantism? Give me 10 minutes to come back with an edgelord outfit" said Nick as he went back to the MuTeens hiedout.
"Really, SyBert? Why bring Mr. Showoff into this?" Said Raph angrily.
"We had no choice. He wants to hang out and bond. Not to mention he's the reason why we're doing this... as in we the Stockman Twins." Said SyBert. "The MuTeens was all his idea, but what we saw in Mexico, He turned carnage into an art... We hold ourselves back quite a bit with HellRayzor, but Nick holds back a shit-ton more... we're still dealing with what we saw in therapy!"
"Pussies." Replied Raph.
A few minutes later, Nick came back wearing a black neoprene diving suit with a black Motorcycle Helmet, combat Boots some webgear and a MK23 styled Rubber ball gun.
"Kept you waiting, huh?" Said Nick while making a Solid Snake impression. "You can call me Jack. Ready when you are, Nightwatcher, HellRayzor, and Skeletor?"
"Fuck, not you too! It's Skullbasher!" Said Casey.
"You never told us your codename." Said Bertram.
"Seriously, Case... Skullbasher sounds cool, but your outfit screams 'Myahhh! I'll get you for this He-Man!! Eternia will be mine!'" Said Raphael while making a bad Skeletor impression.
"Fuck you, assholes!" Replied Casey as the new quintet patrolled Hell's Kitchen. They spent 3 hours looking for criminal activity and nothing.
"Man, this night was a bust..." said Casey.
"Isn't that a good thing, Skullbasher?" Replied Nick.
"When the little guys are quiet, usually means something big is coming. That's a fact, Jack!" Said Raphael. "But it's pointless hanging around." Suddenly a woman is heard screaming and cursing in Italian.
"Shit! That's Carlotta!" Replied Nick as he ran towards Carlotta's direction. The others followed via rooftops. Once Nick landed in front of Carlotta and saw she was unharmed, he gave chase to the purse snatcher. Using VG Logic, Nick turned his rubber bullets into tranq rounds and fired 3 shots at the purse snatcher. The purse snatcher was knocked out. Nick picked up the purse and asked a passerby to call the cops. Using Zipties, Nick tied the purse snatcher to a parking meter. He picked up the purse and dashed straight to Carlotta.
"Here you go Miss! You should call a friend or something to pick you up!" Said Nick while making a Solid Snake impression. He dased into an alley and used VG LOGIC to change into civilian clothes.
*ring!*
"Hello!" Said Nick.
"Nicola, I'm close to your place. Please come get me. I was mugged!" Said a panicked Carlotta. "Please hurry!"
Nick ran and arrived to Carlotta's location while playing the winded act. "I... came... as fast... as i could..." said Nick while panting. Carlotta hugged Nick and started crying. "I'm here, Lotta... I'll do the best I can to protect you."
A policewoman came running. When she saw Nick, she went straight to him.
"GameDude! We just found a man tied to a parking meter. Allegedly he was subdued by a vigilante wearing a black suit and a black helmet. Bystanders claim he was a purse snatcher." Saod the policewoman.
"Officer... this young lady was the victim. She's my stepcousin. She called me and told me she was mugged." Replied Nick.
"Miss, I'll have to ask you a few questions." Said the policewoman. "GameDude, please accompany her to the police station, so we can ID the suspect."
***
Police station: lineup room:
Carlotta, Nick, the policewoman, and 2 more officers are looking at possible suspects.
"Miss Maraviglia, are you sure?" Said the Policewoman.
"I'm sure, officer O'Malley. It is Suspect Number 3." Said Carlotta. "He's the one who took my purse."
Nick stared at suspect number 3. He had the ligature marks on his arms. Only Number 3 had them. "So, now that you have her statement and she helped ID the suspect, are we allowed to leave, officer O'Malley?" Asked Nick.
Officer O'Malley sighed. "Yes, you can leave, bit before you do, could I ask you a small favor? My Nephew, Patrick, he's a big fan. Could you do a small video greeting for him? He's eight. His Mom died recently and he's not feeling well. He's living with me and my parents." Said Officer O'Malley.
"I'll do you one better. Call your parents to have little Paddy ready and we'll head there right now. I know your shift has been over for a bit. I accidentally overheard you talking with your partner." Said Nick. "A meet and greet trumps a video message. Especially if he's grieving." Said Nick.
***
O'Malley residence: Living Room:
Officer O'Malley unlocked the door and entered the apartment. "Come in."
Nick and Carlotta entered the living room. Mr. and Mrs. O'Malley were watching Jeopardy!
"Sarah, Patrick is in your room." Said Mrs. O'Malley. "It's you! You're the Nintendo kid that Patrick admires! Francis, look! We have a superhero in our living room! You're so young!"
"Sir, Madam. Nicholas Raymond Cade. It's a pleasure to meet you." Replied Nick.
"Yeah, yeah... Back in my day the heroes were real men! Stainless Steel Steve, Captain Deadbolt... None of this was for children." Said Francis.
"I wish I could've met the Justice Force, sir." Said Nick. "You are correct. I am nothing but a child. I cannot compare myself to the likes of the Justice Force. I want to do what I can to make the world a better place for us. I'm trying to follow in their footsteps. Just as your daughter has been following yours, am I right?"
"You're perceptive." Said Francis. "There may be hope fot you yet."
"Oh Em Geee!!! It's GameDude!!" Screamed little Patrick O'Malley. Nick knelt while Patrick ran towards him.
"Hi, Patrick. Your Auntie, Sarah told me you're a fan." Said Nick. "I wanted to say hi. She also told me something that made me sad. So, do you wanna talk about it?"
Patrick looked angry. Nick wiped Patrick's tears.
"No one understands your pain. They say things like 'everything will be alright.' But it never will be, because my mom is dead. Right now, the only person that understands my pain, is you, Patrick. My Mom died when I was 8 years old... Cancer." Said Nick. "A few months before my mom died, my grandparents died as well. I was truly alone.You at least have your grandparents and your Auntie, who is really cool."
"She's OK, but she can't do what you can do." Said Patrick. "You can hadoken, falcon punch, and even trap criminals with a katamari."
"That's why she's cooler than me. She goes out there without superpowers to try and make the city a little bit better for you." Said Nick. "Also, you have your grandparents who love you. In the best way possible, you're doing far much better than I did when I was your age." Nick made a Mario Question Block appear. "Hit the block, Patrick." Patrick punched the block and a super mushroom appeared. Touching the Mushroom made Patrick twice his size.
"Whoa! I'm SUPER NOW!" Exclaimed Patrick. Nick gave Patrick a small tap that shrunk him back to normal. "Hey! What gives!?"
"Easy comes, easy goes." Explained Nick. "Also, this apartment is too small to let a superpowered 8 year old do the Mario." Nick put his hands on Patrick's shoulders. "When I lost my Mom, I was a very angry kid. I did bad things that I'm ashamed of now. I was a bully and getting into fights to make others suffer, because I was suffering. That is not the way to deal with the loss of the most important woman in your life. She wouldn't want you to be like that. I don't want you to be like that. I want you to grow into the man she would be proud of calling her son."
Nick pulled out his wallet and showed Patrick a picture of Carmen. "That's my Mom, I love her with my heart and my life. She's gone, but not forgotten. Every day I try to be the best version of me, so she can be proud of me." Nick wiped his tears.
Patrick pointed at a picture. "That's my Mommy! And I love her very much!" Said Patrick crying. Nick hugged him.
"Good. You love your Mom. Cry, kiddo. Let the tears wash away the pain." Said Nick as Patrick cried on his shoulder.
"Thanks, GameDude." Said Patrick. "I'm going to make Mommy proud!"
"Patrick, we're friends now, you can call me Nick." Said Nick. "Unfortunately, I have to take my cousin back home and it's getting late. Remember, Be a good person and grow into a good man to make yourself and your Mom proud. Now, hit the bed, little buddy!"
"Thanks, Gam- Nick!" Patrick ran and hugged his grandparents before leaving to his room.
Mr. O'Malley stood from his chair and gave Nick a strong handshake.
"I misjudged you. You may be a showboater, but what you just did for Pat, well, Not many showboats do that. Thank you. Sarah is very lucky for finding a partner like you." Said Mr. O'Malley. "Back in my Day, I was the Police Liason of the Justice Force. I believe Sarah should be the Police Liason of the MuTeens."
Nick and Sarah sighed. "Dad, for a moment there, I thought you meant-"
Mrs O'Malley intervened. "Sarah, but He's a strapping young man and you're already 26 and single. Your biological clock is ticking. His mother is a redhead, you're a redhead. Patrick needs a cousin."
"If Offi-Sarah approves, I'll accept your offer, Mister and missus O'Malley. Unfortunately, my cousin and I have to leave before it's to late. I shallborrow r your daughter for a few minutes." Said Nick as Officer Sarah O'Malley had no choice but to follow Nick outside.
"What the heck was that!?" Whispered Sarah.
"That was old fashioned parents afraid that their daughter will end up as an old maid. Usually happens with old school Catholics, I noticed your father's rosary marks on his tanktop. Don't worry, I too was raised a Catholic, but more "lax" environment. I get where they're coming from." whispered Nick. "I'm just buying you some time. I'm going to kiss your lips now. They're expecting that. I can 'see with echolocation'. Your Mom is literally at the peeping hole looking at us."
"You don't have to." Said Sarah blushing. "We could fake it."
"It's OK. I don't mind being kissed by you if it helps get your parents off your back for a bit." Said Nick as Carlotta rolled her eyes. "Besides, your parents would know a fake kiss from a real one."
Nick kissed Sarah passionately with his tongue probing her mouth as her tried to resist his advances to no avail. "Whoa..." said Sarah. Nick gently kissed her earlobe before whispering: "That was a simple kiss. I can do so much more, Sarah O'Malley... especially if it involves handcuffs. I'll give you a taste. After I'm gone, bite your pillow and say Metal Gear... you're well cummed." Sarah's face was as red as her hair as she went inside. Nick and Carlotta left as the O'Malleys were cheering for Sarah. Carlotta was annoyed.
"Really, Nicola? Seducing the officer that helped me?" Said Carlotta mildly annoyed. "Why?"
Once they were far away from the O'Mally apartment, Nick grabbed Carlotta and Castlevania superjumped to the rooftops. "I wasn't really seducing her. She's stressed out about her job in the police, being hounded by her parents about being a spinster, the mess with her sister dying. Seems little Patrick was born out of wedlock, hence the last name. I kissed her to get her parents off her case for a while. I gave her a little something so she can relax and unwind at least for one night." said Nick. "You, on the other hand, are one that I'm trying to get into la mia famiglia speciale. We've had this chemistry for years and you know it. Also, as a good sisterfucker, I can't leave a stepsister behind..."
"You're lucky I already like you like that, Serpente Solido... So che eri tu l'uomo in nero che ha fermato il rapinatore. I recognized your voice and I could smell the Drakkar Noir."
"Yo-you knew?" Said Nick. "Dammit..."
"Of course, I knew! I'd be an awful girlfriend of I didn't recognize my boyfriend! We're boyfriend and girlfriend. I'm not sure how does this works?" Said Carlotta.
"Right now you are Anakin Skywalker. You have been granted a seat, but are not a Master." Said Nick. "But let's go home. You're sleeping in my room tonight. No hanky panky, but I'm NOT leaving you alone tonight and we can't share a bed with Licia, especially since she loves dragon."
"If you make a These nuts joke, you will regret it!" Said Carlotta. "So this rooftop running is part of what you do as a Superhero? It's somewhat romantic. The freedom, you make me feel like Sailor Moon being rescued by Tuxedo kamen. Baciami, Nicola"
Nick obliged and gave Carlotta a kiss. Carlotta saw Nick's face change. He looked confused.
"Why do your lips feel familiar? I'm pretty sure we hadn't kissed before. Oh wait! That time when you, Alicia, and Ash forced me to play truth or dare!"
"Licia got so mad, she ended the game right there..." said Carlotta. "Really? You forgot your first kiss?"
"Well, technically speaking Licia got my first kiss back when I thought she had cooties." Replied Nick. "You know, even Licia forgot it and got mad at Ashley when she kissed her once... before I, um... began being a 'good' stepbrother. Um, I forgot, Trib is staying with me until Christmas. You two can share the bed while I take the couch." Said Nick as he reached the Hideout's rooftop. "M'Lady!" Carlotta laughed at Nick's over the top chivalry as he opened the door for her.
---
Nick silently opened his door and waiting for him were Tribble, Barbara, and Alicia.
"Where were you?" Asked Alicia.
"Why were you running around in a neoprene suit in winter?" Asked Barbara
"Who is Sarah?" Asked Tribble.
"So, how was the kiss, Lotta?" Asked Alicia.
"This is the disadvantage of being married to and dating a psychic. They can read your mind!" Said Nick. "The Gremlin simply knows us too well." He picked up Alicia and kissed her. Then kissed Barbara. Lastly he kissed Tribble's belly before giving her a kiss.
"I had a guys night out. The neoprene suit was a bad idea, but it worked for what we were doing." Said Nick. "Carlotta got mugged and the police was involved. I accompanied her to the precinct and then Lotta and I accompanied Officer Sarah O'Malley to her place, so I could meet her nephew. Kid lost his Mom recently and I cheered him up a bit. Then I kissed Sarah, just to help her get her parents to back off. She's 26, living with her parents, who desperately want her to make them grandparents a second time. Due to her job, her parents, and now little Patrick, she hasn't gotten laid for over a year. And she just used my present... " Explained Nick. "Her dad was the Police Liason for the Justice Force and he's trying to get her to be the one for the MuTeens."
"Let's talk shop tomorrow." Said Barbara. "Carlotta, you're sleeping in my room. I'm more than capable of keeping you safe, while Nick spends the night with his wife. Ashley, out!"
Ashley popped out of the PS4.
"Let's go Ashley." Said Alicia as finally Nick and Tribble were alone.
"At last we're alone, Niklas!" Said Tribble.
Nick simply sat on the sofa and Tribble laid her head on his lap while rubbing her barely noticeable belly. "Niklas. I wish you and the girls would move to Dimension X with me. I mean all of them: Alicia, Barbara, Ashley, Natsumi, Chloe, Celeste, and Carlotta. That way we could all be together." Said a tearful Tribble. "I can feel the love you all feel for each other and I feel it too! Especially with Alicia. I mean after we defeat Krang and you don't have duties as a hero. I can dream, can't I?"
Nick patted Trib's head. "Peace would be awesome. But for now, I'm happy being able to spend time with you like this." Said Nick as he gently caressed Trib's face and hair. "Sleep well, my interdimensional space princess..."
*"You get the best of both worlds! Chilling out take it slow then you rock out the show!"*
"Yes, Miley? What? Now... Can it wait at least 5 hours, because *yawn* I'm under the effects of sleeping pills and I need to*yawn* get at least 5 hours of sleep." Said a mildly annoyed Nick. "Let me see which of the MuTeens can accompany... Just Me? Yeah, not happening. If the paps got hold that *yawn* Miley Cyrus is getting visited at night by a barely *yawn* legal superhero boy, they'll break Billy Ray's *yawn* Achy Breaky Heart!" Said Nick in a more sleepy tone. "I'm coming Miley... with an o and one m... sorry family joke. Let me take a cup of coffee. Ok see you in about 45 minutes. Bye." Nick hung up the phone and went to Ashley's.
"Ash! Wake up! I need you. I think Miley wants to do me. I need a witness to deter her plans." Nick whispered.
Barbara pops out the room while Ashley is hopping on one foot trying to put on her leggins.
"Honey, you got a bit of my sister's juice!" Said Nick as he licked the sides of Barbara's mouth. "Ash, please tell me you recorded it."
"I willl record everything!" Said a projection of Tommy Wiseau as he walked through Ashley's room.
"So this is what Mekaneck felt like when Extendar showed up..." muttered Nick.
*"You get the best of both worlds! Chilling out take it slow then you rock out the show!"*
"Miley, I'm coming! Oh my God!" Said Nick before answering the phone. "I'm on my way, Miley! I'm Grabbing my coat!" Said Nick as he hung up. "Let's go, Ash. The Disney Princess is getting impatient."
***
Plaza Hotel Reception:
Nick went to the reception while wearing a Trenchcoat, glasses and a fedora. He also had a scarf covering the lower half of his face. Walking to the front desk, Nick accidentally bumped into a tall bearded man with greying hair.
"Sorry. Didn't see where I was going" said Nick.
"No harm, no foul." Said the man.
"Wait a minute... He-Man!? You're Jimmy Flinders! I'm Nick Cade Jr! Huge fan of your voicework!" Said Nick very excitedly.
The man rubbed his chin. "Did you say Nick Cade? As in Rook Nick Cade?" Said former agent Flinders. "Then that makes you..."
"His son!" Said Nick while making an OK Liquid impression.
"Wait, you're one of Bishop's Xenogears kids. Bishop pestered me a lot when he discovered I did voicework for Xenogears." Said Cam Clarke.
"I know, you voice them, not play them, so Bish ended barking up the wrong tree. By the way, this is the second thing we have in common." Said Nick. "We both have worked for Bishop, now this. By the way, why are you in New York?"
"I was in Canada for a con. Got to stay here for a few days thanks to our former boss. You'd think that retirement would end his calls, but no! He's probably thinking ways of making me live on-"
"THROUGH THIS ARM!" Nick interrupted. "Sorry."
"No, you're correct. Bishop would see the humor of the guy who voiced Liquid Snake ending up as a talking arm." Said Cam Clarke.
*"You get the best of both worlds! Chilling out take it slow then you rock out the show!"*
"Crap. I got to go. If I get a MuTeens videogame deal, I'd be honored if you voiced me." Said Nick.
"I could get in touch with Dave Hayter to play your Dad." Said Cam Clarke. "Wow, I can't believe I met my favorite Voice Actor! He-Man, Liquid Snake, Krellian!" Said Cam Clarke while making a Nick impression.
"Dude, that's creepy! Also, I enjoyed your Igor Smith from Attack of the Killer Tomatoes." Said Nick.
"Indeed." Said Cam Clarke in a decent Bishop impression before saluting Nick.
"I'm here Miley." Said Nick. "Call the front desk."
The phone rang at the front desk. The employee answered. He kept nodding.
"Yes, understood. He's right here. We'll let him pass." Said the concierge as he wrote down Miley's room number.
---
Miley's room:
Nick knocked Miley's door to the beat of nobody's perfect, to which Miley opened up the door a bit annoyed.
"You're late." She said as she pulled Nick in. When he realized Miley was wearing only a bathrobe he gulped hard. "Come, sit down, get comfy. Kick off your shoes and put your feet up the Ottoman." Said Miley as she poured Nick a Coke. "Can't let you drink on the job." She kept moving around the room and slowly letting her bathrobe loosen up. Nick was trying to avoid peeping at Miley's body. "What's wrong? You seem tense." Said Miley as she disrobed. Nick immediately shut his eyes and began muttering
"You can tell the world, you never was my girl
You can burn my clothes when I'm gone
Oh, you can tell your friends, just what a fool I've been And laugh and joke about me on the phone"
"Really? You're using my Dad against me? You're worse than Liam!" Said Miley annoyed as she put back her robe. "I could've sworn you were into me... fuck me!"
"She's dressed, lil'bro." Said Ashley sadly.
"Wait, you brought your sister!? What kind of sick fuck are you!?" Exclaimed Miley.
"The best kind." Said Ashley as she popped out of Nick's phone. "Look. It's not personal. He's just the sappy romantic type. He literally rejects girls by saying 'I don't fuck, I make love and sadly, I don't feel enough of a connection to make love with you.' I've seen it happen. Also, you're on the list."
Miley looked at them confused. "What list?"
"Mary Sue's 'you can't sleep with these folks under no circumstances' list. You're number 13 on the list. Her mom, Tiffani Thiessen, Jennifer Lawrence, Ashley Tisdale, Zendaya, Selena Gomez, Amy Jo Johnson, Brenda Song, Tara Strong, Karen Gillian, Taylor Swift, and Miranda Cosgrove are the other slots before you." Said Ashley.
"Yup, what my lesbian sister said is true. Also the list applies to her too." Replied Nick. "Before you ask, Number 14 is Hannah Montana. Sadly, she read my mind when I saw your name on it and made the Hannah Montana/Miley Stewart addendum."
"Why did you mention that AI is a lesbian?" Replied Miley confused.
"Because it's the 21st century and us non-heteronormative folks require fair representation. It's standard PSA stuff we have to say. Also, he was trying to see if you enjoyed the best of both worlds..." replied Ashly with a beet red face.
"Really? A Hannah Montana reference." Said a mildly irked Miley. "Now I feel like shit. I got rejected by a dude AND a girl!"
Nick sighed. "Look, it's not a big deal. Let's focus on what I have to do tomorrow... er, later today..." Nick stood up and walked towards Miley and hugged her. "I know you feel hurt. I'm assuming Liam is the guy you were/are in a relationship with. Not gonna pry, but revenge fucking someone else, will not make things better. I'll be honest here: it's taking me every ounce of my willpower to not strip and fill all your holes with my cum. I even have a Hannah wig in my jacket's pocket to fill her up as well. In fact, I'm gonna masturbate thinking of what I couldve done once I reach home." Said Nick. "But My girl asked me not to have sex with you and I must respect her boundaries." Said Nick. "If i was single, Ash and I would tag team you to the point that you would have to cancel the interview with Vernon."
"Dammit you two, you're making me act all professional." Said Ashley. "So, interviews, where, when?"
"I should've done this the normal way through my manager, but no. I was trying so hard to get laid that I fucked things over." Said Miley exasperated. "I have one today at noon for MTV... Times Square. Then at three ABC, which is close to the hotel. On Thursday its one at NBC, which it's in the RockefellerCebter. And Friday is the Vernon Recording at Channel 6."
"The only harsh day is today, which Babs and Natsu will take care of actual security detail. I'll just drive if I get some sleep. I'll accompany you for Vernon and on Saturday, you're off. The MuTeens will take the day off and we'll hang out at a warmer place." Said Nick. "Also, on saturday is the first annual MuTeens Karaoke contest and we'd like you to be the judge."
"I'll do it... just have the Hannah songs be kept to a minimum." Replied Miley laughing. "Actually, I'm working on a project to help fight homlessness and help LGBTQ teens. Ashley could be great to help raise awareness, since she's a lesbian superhero after all."
"I- I'd be honored to do that!" Said Ashley. Nick started sobbing.
"What's wrong?" Asked Miley concerned.
Ashley laughed as she saw Nick caressing the Hannah wig. "The world is not ready for Your Hannah Montana impression."
Miley looked curious. "His what now?"
Ashley laughed as she pulled her cellphone. "The Halloween Before we got our powers, Nick went to our school's Halloween Talent Show dressed as Hannah Montana and performed The Best of Both Worlds. I got it on my phone, wanna watch?" Said Ashley as Miley put some popcorn in the microwave. Nick hid the wig in his pocket and facepalmed. Once miley returned Ashley moved between Nick and her to set up her phone before having her hair go gold. this projected the video in 3D space.
---
Video from JWB Academy: 2 years ago, Gymnasium:
A small stage was set up on the gymnasium, where the talent show was going on. A ventroloquist just finished her act.
"Let's give a round of applause to Jessica Lowe-Barreto and her dummy, Michael Hunt! Now we got our resident prankster performing... wait! Nick Cade is going to sing the Best of Both Worlds!? Okay? Give a round of applause to Nicholas Hannah Montana Cade!" Yelled the Emcee as Nick went to the center stage.
"Hi everybody!" Said Nick while mimicking Miley's voice. "Ah'm going to sang a little song called 'The Best of Both Worlds' Wooo! Hit it!"
A pre-recorded band version of the Best of Both Worlds began to play. "Woooo! Here we go everybody!" Yelled Nick while mimicking Hannah's mannerisms.
"You get the limo out front, ooh-whoa! Hottes styles every shoe every color! Yeah when you're famous, it can be kinda fun. It's really you but no one ever discovers." Sang Hannah/Nick perfectly.
"His lip-synching is on point." Said Miley while chuckling. "If it wasn't for his masculine physique, I would've sworn it was me!"
"Here's the kicker. He's not lip-synching." Said Ashley as Nick tried not to look at Miley watching him perform as Miley.
"Really? That's pretty cool. Ok, I heard a little voice crack and you're slightly put of tune. I believe it now." Replied Miley. "Outfit could use a bit of work though."
"Here comes the best part." Said Ashley.
The Holographic Hannah/Nick added some pink eye shadow before ripping off his Hannah outfit while transitioning to a pink wig and a pink dress.
"Jem! (Jem is excitement) Ooh Jem! (Jem is adventure) Ooh ( glamour and glitter fashion and fame) Jem! (Jem is truly outrageous truly truly truly outrageous)"
Miley was squealing while Ahsley was grinning. Nick was watching stone-faced the rest of his past performance.
"There's no way a straight dude pulled that off." Said Miley. "Not even Neil Patrick Harris can be as fabulous as that performance."
"Actually, I lost to the following act. Pete Palmer and his sword swallowing act. I got second place." Said Nick a bit disappointed. "Also, just because I have some girly tastes, doesn't mean I swing that way. There's a reason for my performance."
"Yeah... you stole Darcy's thunder that day." Said Ashley. "Darcy Dixon, spoiled brat. She had a beef with Babs and was all around nasty girl who thought the world revolved around her. Think Sharpay without Disney restrictions."
"Yikes!" Replied Miley. "So, this Darcy was a total bitch. Where does Nick dressing up as my alterego and Jem sans the Holograms comes into play?"
"Darcy was flaunting her voice and spiked Babs' soda damage her throat. Nick found out and decided to have revenge. Last time he did both he and I got expelled from School and the girl he brought down, became a nun and is currently our teammate Mass Mistress." Said Ashley. "So Nick toned it way down and beat Darcy at her own act. Wanna see her performance. I must want you it's Best of Both Worlds..." said Ashley as she projected Darcy's performance.
A 17 year old Darcy Dixon stepped to the stage and sat on a stool as the music began.
"You get the limo out front, ooh-whoa! Hottes styles every shoe every color! Yeah when you're famous, it can be kinda fun. It's really you but no one ever discovers." Sang Darcy Perfectly.
"Wow, she has a great voice. She sounds familiar though." Said Miley.
"Of course she does. You know her as D'Arcy Daniels." Said Ashley. "She became a viral YouTube sensation doing a few covers related to you: The Climb by you, Jolene by your godmother, Stand by your Dad."
"Wait. She's also going to be interviewed at 'Vernon'. Can I trust you to keep calm?" Asked Miley.
"I can be professional and not troll Dicks on Darcy if you don't want me to." Replied Nick. "Ashley, on the other hand could slip out Darcy's 18th Birthday Bash where she took got gangbanged by half of the Lacrosse team"
Ashley pops out a video clip recorded by one of the lacrosse players.
"Funniest part was that she accidentally sent the video to the entire class." Said Ashley. "We found out a year after the fact due to the whole Terrorist attack by Shredder that put us in a coma and got our powers." Ashley sighed. "I won't upload the clip. I don't do revenge porn. That won't stop me from calling her Dicks on, but nothing beyond a little ribbing."
Miley kept watching her performance. "Wait... she's lip-synching! The disc skipped a bit and now her mouth is not in synch with the audio!"
"And that's how she got disqualified. It was Syrus who pointed out that her mic was off and I mentioned the skip." Replied Ashley. "Still, Nick scored higher than her because he sang in falsetto, danced, and had an in-stage costume change while swapping songs. Darcy is 17 on the list. My mom is number 16 and number 15 is his Stepmom, who is a total MILF!"
"Anyways, we gotta hit the sack if we are going to be your escorts... not remotely what I meant, Ash... Catch you on the Flip-side. Once we leave picture Mickey doing what you wanted me to do and say 'Hot dog!' You're welcome!" Said Nick as he and Ashley left. "Ashley, play Green Hill Zone..."
***
Channel 6 Underground Parking Lot:
Nick, Babs, and Ashley were escorting Miley as Natsumi chose to watch the car. As Miley entered the building a few familiar faces where staring at the trio of bodyguards. Bianca came forward and led Miley and her bodyguards to the green room where Darcy was getting her makeup done. She went pale the moment she saw Barbara enter the room followed by Miley, Ashley and Nick.
"What the hell are they doing here!? Hissed Darcy. "Why hello, Ms. Cyrus, it's a pleasure to finally meet you! I'm D'Arcy Daniels! You were a huge inspiration for my singing career." Said Darcy with an obviously false saccharine tone. "Wow, moonlighting as bodyguards. Never thought I'd see YOU fall this low, Ruiz-Reid." Said Darcy in her normal venomous voice. "I see you still hang out with Stinky Dyke and The Crossdressing Fag."
"Whoa... cool it with the Homophobia, Dicks on Darcy!" Replied Miley. "Oh yeah, I saw the video. Damn, girl, five guys!?"
Darcy's face lost color once more. "YOU!!" She hissed at Barbara who stood her ground.
"Ah, I see now. You're just jealous that nick never paid attention to you and only saw you as a nuisance." Replied Barbara. "Ms. Cyrus, would you allow me for a slight indiscretion in exchange for removing Hannah Montana from my list?"
Miley nodded as Barbara pulled Nick's pants down and he was ready as barbara began licking his shaft. Mikey and Darcy were hypnotized by the power of the devil dick.
"This dick is mine and it can only go where I let it go." Said Barbara as she began rubbing Nick. "Now, Darcy, do you want this dick?" Asked Barbara as Darcy was trying to touch herself discretely. Miley was entranced by Nick's dick when a knock on the door broke them from the spell. Irma came in.
"There's been a slight delay with Vernon, so you have an extra ten..." Irma became entranced by the devil dick and forgot what she was talking about.
"Ahh, Ms. Laginstein! Nice of you to join us. Would you kindly bend over with your hands against the wall?" Said Barbara as Irma obliged. "Ashley, be a dear and help Irma." Barbara spoke and Ashley hiked Irma's sweater and unhooked her bra. Barbara hiked Irma's skirt and lowered her soaked panties. "Nick, be a darling and give Irma what Darcy can't have."
"As you wish." Replied Nickas he positioned behind Irma with his left hand on her breast and his Right on her hip. Barbara aided Nick at Irma's entrance. A slight moan escaped Irma's lips as she finally had the tip inside.
"Wow..." said Irma as Nick fondled her breast.
"I'm going to move now. Hang on!" Said nick as he began thrusting gently.
"You need To go faster, we don't have much time." Said Irma. "I still want a whole night with you."
Nick nodded and nibbled her ear. "If you want me to stop all you have to say is: Banana."
Nick began to pick up speed and Irma's free boob was jumping rhythmically. Meanwhile the boob on Nick's hand was getting loads of attention with rubbing and kneading. Irma's glasses fell off her face as Nick kept thrusting harder and deper.
"Nick. You better stop now. She can't say banana. You fucked her all the way to unconscious." Said Barbara as she began to suck Nick. Ashley dressed up Irma and put her on the couch.
"Sonic Boom!" Exclaimed Nick. As he finished inside Barbara's mouth. Darcy let out a moan as she came hard and tried to pretend it didn't happen.
"Sweet nibblets!" Exclaimed Miley. "Is she OK?"
"Give her a few minutes until she restarts. The first ten times tend to scramble the brain hard." Said Ashley as she brought a kosher chocolate for Irma. "Have some of this. Don't worry, it's kosher."
"Wow, that was... wow! Wow wow wowza!" Said Irma as Nick pucked her up in his arms.
"Sadly, I can't stay for the cuddles, because we have to work. Sorry that I couldn't do more than a quickie, but work..." replied Nick.
Darcy was even more furious seeing Barbara grin. "Miley, just say the word and Hannah can have a session with Nick." Said Barbara.
"Wait, the whole Nick wants to make love to Hannah Montana but not me isn't a joke?" Asked Miley.
"Dude, he's got like 170 Hannah Montana towels that he used to cum on her face from his early teenage years." Replied Ashley.
"Ash, Miley doesn't NEED to know about my towels... nor the dolls, TMI, Ash!" Said a panicked Nick.
"That's a bit creepy, but since that was years ago and you didn't know better..." Said Miley.
"He Asked me to wear the Hannah wig last night." Said Barbara telepathically. "Six times... it took me six times to control the raging boner. My legs were jelly until an hour ago." Miley sighed.
Another knock on the doorand Bianca popped in to escort Miley and Darcy to the studio. Barbara and Ashley followed Miley as Nick let Irma go. "Train your butthole for next time." Nick whispered un Irma's ear. He then followed the girls.
Nick's hair glowed gold as he entered a menu screen.
---
Vernon set:
Babs and Ashley are sitting with the audience as Miley and Darcy are sitting on two chairs. Between them there's an extra seat with the nametag Sora Luftnagle. Miley looked at the tag, then at Barbara and Ashley. Barbara nodded. Then a girl came in running wearing a ridiculously loud outfit and a bubblegum pink wig. She tripped and fell to the floor.
"Silly me!" She said as she plaufully bonked her head and stuck her tongue out. She stood up and dusted her silly skirt before waking to Miley and airkissing each cheek. "Hi hi! I'm Sora Luftnagle. Nice to finally meet ya!"
"Nice to meet you too, Sora... Luftnagle." Replied Miley.
"Oh Em Geee! It's D'Arcy Daniels! Her cover of Baby Shark moved me to tears!" Said Sora as she airkissed Darcy's cheeks.
"Why are you here?" Asked Darcy. "I get why Miley Cyrus is here, but why are you famous?"
"I'm a game girl, duh! I stream game sessions on certain platforms where desperate virgins pay money for my bathwater. kinda like pretty dolphin, but I also sell my used panties." Said Sora while maintaining her childish voice.
"But really Luftnagle? What kind of dumb name is that?" Asked an irritated Darcy.
"That's my arristic name... Kinda how D'Arcy Daniels is Darcy Daniela Dixon and Miley used to be Destiny Hope Cyrus before legally changing it to MILEY. We have a nom da plum." Said Sora as Vernon entered.
"Alright alright alright, let's get this done already." Said Vernon. "Ugh, who keeps pushing this feminist crap on my show? We're going LIVE!? Who made the change?" Said a panicked Vernon before he noticed Mr. Brown, Ms. Goldberg, Mr. Laginstein, and Irma sitting in the audience. Ever since the interview with the GameDude, the execs have tried to make the show about humiliating the host. Vernon laughed. "If they think they'll have the last laugh, they're up for a rude awakening." Thought Vernon. "Hello and welcome to Vernon, I'm your host, Vernon FENWICK. Today we're here to talk to three female influencers. The first one became famous as a cover artist in social media. The second Whores herself out while playing videogames. The third one is an actual singer with actual talent, but she whores herself out in the name of 'empowerment'." Said Vernon smarmily.
Miley was furious, but she looked at Sora and whispered "Do it." Sora grinned.
"Exsqueeze me?" Said Sora with her childish voice. "I'm not whoring myself out. I'm promoting my love of videogames. Is it my fault that my audience is a bunch of desperate simps who want to buy the bathwater of a 19 year old girl? They are the ones buying the bathwater, the panties, the feet pics. I did a little investigating of my own and I found out something shocking!" Said Sora with an evil tone. "You ordered a pair of my used panties Verny. You even requested for me to use them after a workout session."
Vernon began sweating. "I verified my with the producers and they confirmed that it was really you." Said Sora with glee. "Who's worse the 19 year old girl who sold her dirty panties, or the 40-something creep who paid the 19 year old girl for her panties? Can you answer that Verny, or should I call you Daddy Fenwicky with it?"
Vernon became flustered. "People like you make me sick. For years people were objectifying me. Counting down until I was 18, wishing to take my innocence, or Hannah's." Miley said. "I can somewhat forgive the idea that a 13 year old boy pleasured himself to Hannah on 170 beach towels, because he's a kid that doesn't know bettwr But grown men in their 30s and 40s having calendars counting the age until I wass'legal' was creepy as hell." Darcy's mouth was agape. "You act all high and mighty slutshaming us. There's nothing wrong with Dicks on Darcy getting gangbanged by her High School's Lacrosse team and by me exploring my sensuality and sexuality as an adult, or Sora selling feet pics and used panties. Meanwhile, YOU were creeping on girls. YOU are despicable!!"
"How did you even know about that!?" Exclaimed Darcy before the monkey inside her head connected the dots. "It was you, Ginger bitch!" Said Darcy as she threw a chair to the crowd and Barbara caught it one-handed before placing it on the ground.
Ashley already had Miley covered and was heading woth her to the exit while chanting: "Vernon, Vernon, Vernon!"
Vernon was all flustered when Sora had crept up behind him and whispered: "By the way, Fennel, my cock is much bigger than yours."
Once Vernon realized that Sora was Nick in disguise he threw up.
Irma walked up to the staging area while yelling:
"We've got enough B-roll footage... Cut! Now get someone here to clean and fix 'Verny' so he can get Fenwicky with it and we can begin recording the actual show. Also, bring out the real Sora." Said Irma.
Ashley digitized her Sora outfit and smiled. "Yeah, about that... Sora is both Nick and I. We both alternate on the gaming footage. The used panties and bathwater are all him though. We were setting up a stortline where I end up in a reverse Ranma curse in order to diversify our audiences. " said Ashley.
"But who is the brains behind Sora Luftnagle?" Asked Irma, "because that Person needs to be on stage and be interviewed by getting Fenwicky with it."
"Ash, you're it." Said Nick as Miley was cackling.
"Nick, you asshole!" Said Miley as they resumed places but Nick instead sat with the audience.
The interview resumed as normal and after it was a wrap, April and Burne came in with a cake for Vernon.
"Happy Birthday Vernon!" Said the channel 6 crew as Nick fired some Super Mario fireworks.
"Look, Fenwick, don't take it personal. I was told that you were to be pranked for your birthday and my pricing was optimal for Burne. I may have gone a bit overboard. For that I apologize." Said Nick as he pat Vernon on the back and offered his hand as a sign of apology. Everyone else chortled at the kick me sign on Vernon's back.
As Darcy was leaving, Nick stopped her. "Darcy, wait." She was angry and slapped Nick. "Harder Mommy... sorry." Said Nick. "You were a massive bitch in Highschool, especially with Barbara, which put you on my shit list. I'm not saying we should be best of friends or anything like that. I'm saying that High was almost 2 years ago. We don't NEED to carry grudges."
"So that's it? You expect me to forget that a Crossdressing freak beat me at my game? That ain't gonna happen!" Replied Darcy.
"If that's what you want, so be it. I actually enjoyed your original songs far better than your covers before you set them to private. They showcased your soul much better than imitating what others do. Trust me, I'm an expert on the latter." Said Nick.
Darcy walked towards Barbara. "Listen, Ruiz-Reid, I'm not ready to talk you yet, but your stupid boyfriend said some things that are making me think hard about my life." Turning to Ashley. "I lashed at you in Highschool calling you dyke, carpet Muncher, and other homophobic insults. I'm sorry. I'm..."
"You are conflicted between your upbringing and feelings. You lashed at me because I'm true to who I am. Or something like that?" Said Ashley.
"Are you free tonight?" Asked Darcy.
"Hol up! Are you asking me on a date?" Said Ashley.
"For fuck's sake just say yes already!" Exclaimed everyone else.
"Wahoo! I have a date!" Exclaimed both Ashley and Darcy.
"Guess we'll have to explain Darcy the rules later... also, the reason she's been bitchy all these years towards me is that I rejected her in middle school." Barbara told Nick telepathically. "What worries me is the confusion she has towards you."
"Well, Miley, let's Take you back to the Hotel so you can rest." Said Nick as they were all leaving.
Once they left Channel 6 and drove Miley to the Hotel, Barbara looked at Nick. "I honestly don't know how you do it, but with every passing minute I love you more than before."
"Ugh! Get a room you two!" Exclaimed Ashley. "Is it OK if Darcy comes with me tomorrow for the Karaoke contest? I'll blindfold her and everything."
Nick got off the car. "Babs, take the wheel. Miley's taking too long." Nick switched outfits to an EPF sneaking suit and activated stealth camo. Dashing through the lobby, he snuck all the way to Miley's room and was surprised to see Bishop and two Mileys.
"Ah, my dear little Naphtali. I'm surprised it took you this long to get here. I know about your little hiedaway at your grandpa's. No worries. It's unofficially a Photonixian Embassy, your highness. I'm also aware with your escapades on Dimension X, Prince Niklas. I got a lot of fingers in a lot of pies." Said Bishop. "Guess the cat's out of the bag. Agent Cyrus, please debrief Agent Naphtali."
One of the Mileys walked towards Nick amd handed a projector. Nick pored over the Holographic documents.
"Let me get this straight, Uncle John." Said Nick. "Lord Dregg somehow returned? Now you expect the MuTeens to bring the Turtles and the Mutanimals back to the fold while fighting Krang, Shredder, and other Baxter? I get the EPF is doing the MIB stuff. I know of the celebrity initiative, so seeing two Generations of Cyruses doesn't surprise me. Why all the subterfuge and crap, when you could've spoken to us directly." Said Nick. "At the end of the day, we both want the same thing. No need for threats or double/triple/quadruple crossing crap, Uncle John!"
Miley grabbed her luggage as the other Miley turned into a suitcase. "Don't think you're getting rid of me so Easy, Cade." Said Miley as Bishop left. She counted to three hundred.
"He's gone. But you and I have to have a little chat, away from prying eyes, ears, and psychics. Take a seat." Said Miley with authority.
"What the fuck is wrong with you!?" Said Miley.
"A lot, but you'd need to be more specific. Bishop probably briefed you about my peculiar genetics and my messed up psychological profile. Or is it my compulsion for justice and vindictive streak?" Said Nick.
"I'm talking how you fucked that secretary using her like a toy among other things!" Said Miley angrily.
"Hold it right there! I didn't USE Irma. She's a friend that I deeply care about. In fact, that was the first time I made love to her." Replied Nick annoyed. "I had to connect well enough with her before I could commit, because I wanted her to feel loved, like nothing in the universe matters other than her. I was trying to physically manifest my love to her." Said Nick. "Sadly, all I had time to was a pump and go. You can ask Barbara about my favorite part of sex is cuddling. Holding that person, feeling her skin, smelling her scent, listening to her breathing as it slows down, listening to her heartbeat slow down until she's fully relaxed, because she's finally reached hime and feels safe. Pecking kisses on the back of her neck, feeling her arms moving mine to embrace her harder. How our breathing and heartbeats synchronize afterwards..." Explained Nick.
"Bullshit!" Said Miley. "You've been objectifying me since your teenage years!"
"Technically I've still got a few more months of teen age, but 19 year old me is far more mature than 13 year old me. I don't know if I rejected YOUR advances or the Mileybot's. If you're saying this because of the Hannah wig, let me explain.
Are YOU Hannah Montana?" Asked Nick.
"No. Hannah is a fictional character that I played." Replied Miley. "But she shares MY body."
"OK, if you were to have sex with Spider-Man, would you like him to have his mask on, or would you rather have him mask off?" Replied Nick. "The wig is your Spidey mask."
"I'm going to be brutally honest with you. I was just horny that day. After the Mickey experience, I think I got post nut clarity and only see you as an acquaintance." Said Miley "Even though you explained the whole bonding thing and having seen your cute dick-"
"Handsome. It was cute when I was in single digits." Nick interrupted. "It has grown up. Calling it cute offends both my dick and me."
"Whatever. Point is that our relationship does not, cannot, and will not be anything other than platonic. Said Miley.
"It's perfect. But can I have the Mileybot? No, It's for my grandpa's AI, Jenny. The Miley configuration will be deleted, before Jenny uploads itself to it." Replied Nick. "Bishop banned me from getting a female unit. He apparently thought that a female AI assistant would be a distraction, but joke's on him. I'm juggling superheroics, game streaming, occasional security gigs, a wife, and 7 girlfriends. They all know about each other. In fact, you'll be meeting my space-wife in a while."
Miley looked at Nick confused. "A wife and 7 girlfriends!? You mean to tell me that you love 8 different girls and try to make them feel like they're the only person you care about at the moment?"
"My Mom was assassinated when I was a kid. The assassin made it look like it was cancer." Said Nick. "I was angry at the world and lashed at everyone. But a couple of girls helped me find my balance. The girls who took ownership of my heart. They saved me from myself, Miley. The least I can do is love them as much as possible."
Nick took a deep breath
"The real reason I want to make love to Hannah Montana is that I was going to off myself one day. I had one of my old man's handguns, but to mask the eventual shot, I turned the TV and Disney Channel was on. They were playing Nobody's Perfect. As I put the gun to my mouth, Hannah stopped singing and went to the spoken interlude part. You knwo the part that goes: 'Next time you feel like it's just one of those days when you just can't seem to win.
If things don't turn out the way you plan
Figure something else out!
Don't stay down! Try again! Yeah!' I removed the mag and manually ejected the bullet in the chamber before returning the gun to the old man's safe. Hannah Montana stole my heart when she stopped me from making a stupid mistake."
Picking up Miley's luggage, Nick and her went down to the lobby to check out. Once inside the car, Nick drove to the temporary hideout. Miley spent the short trip silent.