MuTeens Gaiden 2010: The Final Fight: Part 1
MuTeens Gaiden 2010: The Final Fight: Part 1:
Ruins of the Del Valle-Rodriguez Residence: sublevels: 20 years from now:
A young girl no older than 15, with her head sporting the Gary Oldman 5th Element hairdo was welding a machine. She was smoking a cigarette. As a man in his late 20s arrived carrying some canned goods.
"Mi scussi, zia. Gli scagnozzi di Krang hanno ridotto le razioni" said the man. "La cugina Penny e il cugino Serpenti Gemelli sono tornati?"
The young girl, looked at the older man and sighed. "Kid, go speak with your Aunt Chloe. While you're at it, tell your mom I wanna speak to her." Said the cranky teen who spoke like a 40-year old chain Smoker. "Now, Elodeon, be a darling and do as I asked."
"Yes, Aunt Alicia" said Nicholas Elodeon Cade as he left Alicia to her machines. Elodeon passed a huge painting showing the MuTeens with the Justice Force after the latter recognized the MuTeens as heroes... "Heroes... yeah... bunch of idiots, who doomed us all when they couldn't stop Dregg's invasion." Thought Elodeon... "The worst of them all, my sperm donor... Nicholas Raymond Cade, who was too busy getting laid than stopping Dregg. Not only he made me a freak, but he doomed various worlds and dimensions with his incompetence." Tribble walked towards Elodeon as he stood in front of the portrait.
"This portrait was made shortly before you were born. My first Christmas on Earth and the first time your father and I had our first real fight." Said Tribble. "I returned to Dimension X and didn't speak to your father until you were born. You were raised in Dimension X, but were baptized on Earth with two sets of godparents. Your Earth godparents sadly, died and we can't communicate with Dimension X, otherwise Dregg would know we still live and send the Cyborgs after us. Like me, you were put in a hypertime pocket where you aged 18 years. You were forged as a warrior our last hope." Tribble sighed "Your father returned to Dimension X with his friends and we overthrew Krang's forces here. That's when Dregg began the invasion. He tried to fight Dregg, but he fell. He was killed by The Cyborgs α and Ω. Your Auntie, Barbara fell to them." Tribble sobbed. "Syrus, Bertram, Natsumi, all the original MuTeens were killed by Alpha and Omega... except Ashley, who became a recluse in the former New York base after her wife, Darcy was killed by Omega." Said Tribble with tears streaming down her face. "Luckily for us, Nick's seed is potent and his heirs have acquired powers. Only Chloe's twins were old enough to begin scavenging like you."
"But we can't live like this forever!" Said Elodeon.
"Heh... Niklas would've said the same. You're very much like your father." Said Tribble. "But so different. Only two more years until Twin Snakes can breed, but most of us are much too old to bear children. If only you hadn't been infected with the mechanovorus that ravaged your genitalia as a punishment after my kingdom fell..." Tribble hugged her son. "If Alicia's plan works, YOU will have a chance to prevent all of this..."
"Mom, I have to speak with Auntie Chloe." Said Elodeon before leaving to the lower level.
Walking past the old hangar, Elodeon often wondered what was it like back when the MuTeens were active. "My aunties always talk about the age of heroes with fond memories. I've heard the bedtime stories Aunties Celi, Chloe, Alicia, and Sarah used to tell the young ones. They exaggerate the role my donor had in them, because they were his thralls on his weird sex cult." Thought Elodeon as he knocked on Chloe's door. Chloe looked weary as her children, Penny Ramona Cade and David Eliab Cade were telling tales of their latest scouting mission.
"Cousin Elodeon!" Exclaimed the twins. "Seems like Dregg has Krang on a tight leash and has reduced rations everywhere." Elodeon nodded.
"Like the little ones say, Krang is being pressured, due to pockets of rebellious people fighting back." Said Elodeon. "It would be awful if Dregg sends an oversight unit on Krang."
Chloe sighed "Penny, David, please check on your younger cousins and help Auntie Sarah." The twins left and Chloe walked towards Elodeon. "Let me guess, you're worried about where would we mobilize if this place is compromised." Chloe used her abilities to become lighter. "There are perimeter alarms that can detect incoming threats." A perimeter alarm was triggered. Jenny quickly activated the security measures. A squadron of Foot Soldiers led by Bebop and Rocksteady patrolled the area. They harassed the few people they saw outside before leaving. Another Perimeter alarm showed a second squadron of Foot Soldiers led by Groundchuck and Dirtbag. Groundchuck fired some shots at Abueobed's house ruins before leaving.
"I can take them..." said Elodeon "Hiding helps no one."
"True, but why bother with the small fries, when we're sending you to tackle a more valuable target." Said Sarah while she was carrying the youngest of Elodeon's half siblings. The twins were bringing the others alongside Celeste.
"Out of all the inheritors of the Cade Bloodline, Elodeon, you're the most powerful one alive..." replied Celeste. "Despite being afflicted with the mechanovirus, you found a way to stop it from spreading. Sadly, you're paying a horrible price. Speaking of horrible things, your great Uncle John is waiting for his final lesson."
Elodeon went further down until he found an abandoned hangar with a man chained to a rack. Once Elodeon got close, Bishop laughed.
"If it isn't Nickelodeon Cade... My second favorite Cade. You want to learn, of course it's combat... just like your father. Only difference that for him it was all fun and games... you on the other hand lack that privilege." Said Bishop while laughing. "You want to know how to defeat Dregg... You can't. Think about it, boy... You can't defeat me and I'm chainbound, defenseless, an easy target, so to speak, much less you can defeat Dregg, who will kill you and toss your aunties and your sistercousins to his troops who will defile their bodies with their monstrous cocks while you're powerless to stop them." Taunted Bishop. "You're pathetic. Your father would've conjured enough swords to make a pincushion out of me. Hell, even your grandfather would've blown my brains off just to shut me up for a minute."
Elodeon summoned a spear and tossed it in Bishop's direction, but missed the shot. Bishop laughed.
"Mercy... precisely what killed Nick Arcade. You need to be merciless... crush your enemies! See them driven before you! Hear the lamentations of the women! You are not ready to beat Dregg now, nor 20 years ago..." Bishop whistled. "Pay attention, boy! Your next move will be important. Your Auntie is working on a Time Machine. The idea is to send you back in time to stop Dregg from killing your father."
Elodeon laughed. "I knew you were insane, Bishop, but Time Travel? Earth doesn't have the resources to do so..."
"You're right, former prince 'Round Ears'." Taunted Bishop, causing Elodeon to get mad and conjure up a laser blaster and shooting Bishop on the shoulder.
"Don't you ever call me that!" Said Elodeon as he hed flashbacks of the taunts he endured as a child by other Neutrinos from the Chronal Warrior Program.
"Did you forget for a moment that you're half Neutrino AND that your dad was griends with the Turtles? Access to Time Travel IS within Wonder Alice's grasp. All she needed was some Materials." Replied Bishop. "But the only way to kill Dregg is to enter his Fighting Tournament. Win and kill Dregg during the awards ceremony. Past me has a spare Entry ticket. All you have to do is contact him and say 'Happy Birthday Hawking'. He will know what to do once you explain my plan." Said Bishop. "Now go..."
Elodeon left fuming as another perimeter alarm sounded... it was Alpha and Omega in the Metal.
Alpha Clad in Black Armor with four Bat Wings Protruding from his back. Omega, Clad in white Armor with six pink Energy angel wings.
"Override code 00417" said Alpha as the perimeter alarms stopped and the hangar rose from the ground. "Wives of Cade, you were given a chance to live peacefully, but you chose to plot against our Master."
"To betray Lord Dregg is to forefit your life!" Said Omega. She shot some homing feathers that struck the hangar at various places to create an opening for the Cybernetic Duo. "I see... the Children of Cade are with the Policewoman. Most of them haven't awakened their powers. Only three have potential." Said Omega as she landed next to the elevator. "Alpha, do take care of the inferior Cyborg. I will go for the children."
"Like Hell you are!" Yelled Elodeon as he threw a spear at Omega. "Come at me, Robobitch!"
Omega snarled and flew towards Elodeon who punched her with his cyber arm. This sent Omega reeling back as Alpha watched.
"I am Grahf the seeker of Power. Doth thou desire the power? My fist is the divine breath! Blossom, o fallen seed, and draw upon thy hidden powers!! Grant unto thee the power of the glorious 'Mother of Destruction'!" Said Alpha as he taunted Elodeon. Alicia's eyes widened.
"No... it can't be!" Exclaimed Alicia as she activated an EMP grenade. Three thudding sounds of the Cybernetics on Alpha, Omega, and Elodeon were evidence of the EMP working. Once the cyborgs were knocked out Alicia had them restrained. Elodeon was whining. "Nicholas Elodeon Cade, SHUT UP!! I'M TRYING TO SAVE YOUR DAD, HERE AND COW!" Yelled Alicia as she took the cyborgs to the lab. Elodeon followed his aunt.
---
Once she got to the laboratory, she quick-scanned the cybernetic bodies. They indeed have organic matter and it mayched Nick and Barbara's DNA. Then she had Jenny to do a full scan.
"Miss Alicia, I have terrible news" said Jenny. "While the DNA matches both Master Cade and Mistress Ruiz-Reid-Cade, both have been dead for years. Their Bones hold a fraction of their abilities and Dregg figured out a way how to use them."
"But what about the Xenogears reference and the theatrics? That WAS Nick!" Exclaimed Alicia with tears rolling down her face. "He can't be dead!"
"It appears that Dregg created a digitized copy of their brains, which allows the Androids to tap into the skeletons' powers. Master Cade and Mistress Ruiz-Reid-Cade are unfortunately dead. I too mourn for his amazing demonic penis." Said Jenny as she cried digital tears.
"Guess this settles it... Elodeon, you're the only one who can prevent all this from happening. I was hoping for Nick himself to go back, but alas." Said Alicia. "I didn't want to send YOU specifically, because it will be a lot more awkward having a son much older than you coming in to boss you around. But you're the only one who can." Alice fiddled with an ancient device. "This was your aunt Ashley's Zune. That will be some proof. It has her Highschool playlist, her MuTeen playlist AND a recent Playlist I made for the purpose of Time Travel... pick a song 1,2, or 3, for me to play when I reveal the Time Machine." Alicia began walking to the hangar and Elodeon followed.
After they left Alpha and Omega's eyes began to glow again.
---
With Alicia arriving at a Port-a-Potty, Elodeon looked confused. She picked a song from the time travel playlist and Eodeon was just as clueless. She switched to the other two songs "Seriously? You didn't watch the movies and shows I gave you to watch? You didn't even played with your dad's SNES? I TOLD YOU THOSE WOULD'VE HELPED YOU CONNECT WITH YOUR DAD!" Said Alicia irritated.
"Stupid TV showsand games won't save the world." Said Elodeon. "We're in a war and we're losing, because of your stupid dreams of my sperm donor's penis and wanting 'normalcy'..."
"Too bad, because NOW YOU'RE GOING TO EXPERIENCE WHAT WE'RE FIGHTING FOR!" Said Alicia as she tripped Elodeon and spanked him hard. "That's for being a disrespectful little shit. I love you, but you need to remove that sequoia lodged between your buttcheeks. Now into the outhouse you go!" Said Alicia as she tossed Elodeon in the time machine.
"How is this thing so big inside!?" Yelled Elodeon.
"If you had seen my stupid TV show you would've gotten an explanation!" Exclaimed Alicia. "Allons-y, Trunks because you need to play a reverse Kyle Reese/John Connor scenario." As she activated the machine, both Alpha and Omega showed up in a gestalt form and grabbed unto the Time Machine. It disappeared with the two hitchhikers. Only the bones of Nick and Barbara remained.
"Interesting." Said Alicia.
***
Antarctica: 3 months ago:
Whistling across the sky the Port-a-Potty crashlanded and its cooling mechanism froze it and the G.O.D. entity. "Come on, Open!" Said Elodeon. It was jammed. Using the radio and the frequency that Bishop gave him, Elodeon began transmitting a message on a classified EPF Frequency.
"Bishop... Happy Birthday Hawking... Xenogears fails... Son of Naphtali... Happy Birthday Hawking... " repeated Elodeon for 10 minutes.
---
3 Hours Later: a Loud Banging on the Port-a-Potty's door startled Elodeon and he drew a Blaster. A familiar voice yelled "Open up the door!" Elodeon recognized it as Bishop's. He quickly opened up and let the EPF Agent in. Bishop laughed when he saw the inside.
"Gallifreyan inspired hammerspace vessel for traversing time and relative dimensions in space. This has Alicia Maraviglia written all over." Said Bishop. "YOU, were you the one transmitting the message? Tell me who defeats the MuTeens to the point that I have to send myself a message from the future. Tell me, Son of Cade... I'm here to help, as I must assume that in the future I'm stripped from my vast resources."
Bishop offers Elodeon a coat and some winter clothes before heading outside.
"Care to explain, what's this robot?" Said Bishop.
"You must destroy it immediately as it's the thing that killed Nick Cade and Barbara Ruiz-Reid-Cade... sorry, Ruiz-Reid." Said Elodeon. "This thing crippled the EPF and due to your immortal status, you weren't killed by it. You need to destroy it, like yesterday!" Said Elodeon. Bishopsigned to some agents that put an anti matter bomb on the G.O.D. entity but before it blew up, it fired a blast at Elodeon causing him to reel back, but unscathed thanks to his cybernetic limb, due to the mechanovirus that infected him shortly after he came to Earth with Tribble. "Good, one down, one to go... The one in Dregg's possession is the one we must prepare for." Said Elodeon.
A song was playing inside the Port-a-Potty. It was the Men in Black theme by Will Smith. Bishop facepalmed as he entered with Elodeon. Alicia appeared on the screen.
"Uncle John." Said the Recording. "Future you obviously got into my nephew's head and made him run straight to you. I'm a bit disappointed with Nickelodeon Cade, but you were predictable.
Despite your warning about Dregg, we weren't ready. He made a Fighting Tournament along the lines of Bloodsport." Said Alicia. "The MuTeens, the Turtles, the Mutanimals, the Justice Force, Shredder, his goons, and others entered the Tournament. Aside the robot known as G.O.D. Entity, who kills Nick and Barbara, I have a list of the fighters that would need to be temporarily unavailable... capisci."
Bishop nodded as he got a copy of the list. "I must Assume that Future Me trained you." Said Bishop as he turned around to leave. "Do not worry about your TURDIS, we shall be transporting it with you. There is much we need to do and we barely have a few months."
***
Succubus Love Nest: Present day:
Sarah was sitting on the couch studying for the NYPD Detective exam, while Nick was giving her a foot massage.
"Thanks for the massage, Nick but, I won't be making love tonight. I have a test tomorrow." Said Sarah. "Also, thanks for letting me use your grandmother's apartment to study. Who would've thought that Succubi were so friendly."
"They're friendly, because I ordered them to." Said Nick. "They depend on sex to survive and I'm basically showing food to a starving creature." Nick got up and went to the kitchen to check the lasagne in the oven. "But they're very loyal and they keep an eye on my girls. I mostly keep my Meemaw's rules regarding sex with humans and every now and then they receive a vial of my cum. Lucky for me, Meemaw left me a manual on how to keep them in check."
Sarah kept reading until Nick returned with the lasagne. "I can't get over the whole you being a demidemon related to both Jesus and Hitler. But Succubi don't seem that bad for demons." Said Sarah as she set 6 plates and silverware. "So, there's you and me, Darcy and Ashley, Alicia and is Barbara the sixth?"
"Nope, it's Ananda. She's not too fond of me yet, but, she's thawed a little and we kinda need to speak in private later... by that I mean, you, her, and me." Replied Nick "Ash is bringing them here. In the meantime, let me prepare the garlic bread."
"I can't believe you made everything from scratch." Said Sarah. "Didn't know you were into cooking. Or is this part of your getting into girls' pants powers?"
*knock*
Ashley opened the door with everyone else in tow. Darcy and Alicia were already used to the Love Nest looking like a grandmother's house. Ananda was the only one weirded out by it.
"Come, come, and sit. No Ashley, It's with an o and a single m." Said Sarah as she had gotten used to Nick and Ashley's humor. She quickly hugged Ananda, who was wearing a toupee to cover her dome. Alicia quckly jumped to Nick's arms and gave him a passionate kiss. Ashley went in and kissed Nick as well. Darcy stood around a bit awkwardly.
"Darcy... get over here!" Said Nick as he mimed Scorpion's spear move. Darcy kissed Nick and then Ashley. Ananda facepalmed.
"You'll get used to it." Said Sarah. "Anyways, it's been a while Nandi."
"Yes. Your boyfriend has given me a lot to think about... and no, my thoughts don't involve having sex with you, GameDude." Replied Ananda.
"Not even a little bit?" Asked Nick as Ananda was remembering her last few masturbatory sessions where she was thinking of Nick.
"Not at all." Said Ananda coldly. "I only came here to see where was Sarah hiding these past few days, since she wasn't at her folks." Ananda sat next to Alicia, who looked at the Justice Force member with curiosity.
"You're smart, being Doctor Dome's kid and having a technorganic brain." Said Alicia in a childlike voice. "Must've sucked losing so badly to an average gamerwho thinks with his amazing penis."
Ananda looked at Alicia "You know I can theoretically kick your ass with my super strength." Said Ananda. "I could snap your arms like twigs."
"Try me, bitch!" Said Alicia. "I may be fun-sized, but I can kick your ass, Baldy!"
Darcy looked at Ashley with a wtf look on her face.
"Licia, that's enough!" Said Nick. "Better get used to Ananda, as you two will be working together." Said Nick as he brought Garlic Bread to the table. "Drinks are on the fridge... non-alcoholic, of course. It's not an authentic Italian recipe, but it sureley is tasty! Please take small pieces so you can try both. Trust me." Said Nick as he stared at Alicia. They all began to eat, while Nick was nervous.
"I see why you said it isn't authentic... you used ricotta instead of Bechamel sauce." Said Alicia. "I know of your beef with Bechamel sauce and the Bechdel test."
"Actually, Lasagne number two was made with Bechamel sauce and is closer to Authentic." Said Nick as Alicia served herself a bit from the second one.
"This one is much better! You might have won your way into my pants once again, mister!" Said Alicia in a jokey tone.
Darcy was silently eating while Ashley giggled.
"What's the deal with Bechamel sauce?" Asked Ananda. Nick facepalmed as Ashley stood up.
"Alicia is Italian. Her family loves to cook. I want to study culinary arts and more often than not, we discuss the topic of food. Usually when we're discussing sauces, Nick shows up and thinks we're practicing on how to pass the Bechdel test, since we're two females not talking about men." Said Ashley. "He also lies in wait to see if we finish a sentence with the word Bechamel, so he can pop in and sing a raunchy parody of Besame mucho."
"Ah, so immature male humor. Even my old man can be a victim of that. He finds eighty thousand and eighty-five funny." Said Ananda. Nick started laughing. "Like I said, immature male humor." Ashley started laughing as well.
"Guess I'm male now... boobs!" Ashley chortled. "By any chance, did you make dessert, Cindernicky?"
Nick looked at Ashley with serious determination. "You think that I would make a meal and forget about dessert? And I'm not talking about your pussy. I made an actual dessert. My Mom's no bake Lemon-Lime Cheesecake with Vanilla Wafer crust. Let me take these away first." Said Nick as he collected the plates. He returned from the kitchen with two cheesecakes. Nick cut himself a slice as his eyes teared up. "Enjoy!"
---
Nowthat they were fed and rested Ashley took Darcy and Alicia to her apartment love nest across the hall, while Nick, Sarah, and Ananda remained at Nick's.
"I finally obtained a picture of your copycat." Said Ananda as she pulled out a holographic image of Elodeon. "He does have some similarities to you."
"Wait, He's wearing an EPF uniform! Does this mean that..." Nick thought out loud.
"Bishop has his own GameDude." Said Ananda. "Apparently, he's been incapacitating random Mutants and Mutant adjacent individuals. This puts a giant target on Sarah, that's why I'm telling you, she's coming with me and she'll be under JF protection."
"Sarah's an adult and she can make her own choices; but as much as I hate it, I agree, Nandi." Replied Nick. "Evildoers have been rather active recently and we're being spread thin. This copycat is throwing another wrench on... Licia, Ashley, enter, as this concerns you two and Darcy too!" Said Nick as the three girls entered.
"Long story short: Bishop has a clone, alternate universe, experimental copycat of me and this wannabe is hunting down Mutants and mutant Adjacent folks." Said Nick. "As a precaution, Ananda suggested taking Sarah to be a guest at Justice Tower. We need to find something similar for Darcy, Celeste, Tío Julio, April, and Irma..." said Nick in a serious tone. "Wait! We don't! This building IS in a pocket dimension outside of Earth!" Ananda's eyes widened.
"That was the reason for all the secrecy? Interdimensional teleportation?" Said Ananda.
"Kinda. The technology is different but the principle is similar." Said Nick sheepishly.
"You're not trying to sugest something as ridiculous as 'magic'." Said Ananda. "Don't you try to quote Arthur C. Clarke."
"The only Clarke I quote is Cam!" Replied Nick as Alicia and Ashley nodded. "But I dabble in the Arcane Arts. I gotta ask. Is this place pleasant?"
Ananda was curious to the reasoning behind the question. "Should this place be unpleasant?" She asked as Ashley played some fitting music.
"I don't get it... Meat Loaf?"
Sarah sighed. "I'll stay here, since the only people who know of this place are here. Besides Marilith and the other Succubi are fun to hang out with."
Ananda did a double-take. "Succubi as in the demons that rape sleeping men?" Ananda sat down. "That's just great! My best friend is dating Damien Thorn! I can't believe I-"
Nick laughed. "Dude... Now can I quote Arthur C. Clarke? I like being part 'Demon'... Young man with a dark supernatural secret... it makes the girls gush like I'm some character in a young adult novel." He slid behind Ananda and began rubbing her shoulders. She moaned. "You really are TENSE!!! We need to give you some release! But, I'll inform the MuTeens about my 'new rival' and we'll prepare. Once you get home and are on your bedroom, I'll advice to lie on your bed naked and say the phrase: 'Die Monster You don't belong in this world!' You're welcome!" Said Nick as he finished his massage. "Darcy... we'll have to also include your twin sister, but first we need to hit the MuTeen base." Darcy nodded. "Ashley, notify Marilith that we'll need supplies to house 13 to 20 people." Ashley gave Nick a military salute. "I still need to contact the others, so as a wise leader once said: Autobots, transform and roll out!"
Everyone left, except for Nick and Sarah.
"Go home, pack a suitcase and get ready to kick that exam, Detective!" Said Nick as they went downstairs to catch up with the others.
"Twenty humans!? That's like opening up a cookie store in front of a gym!" Said Marilith "I might need a little something, Master to keep this ship running... and Mistress Ashley's taco isn't satiating enough."
Ananda groaned as she realized Marilith was asking for sex. "Ashley, Licia, can you notify the MuTeens about my copycat and contact those close to us about the plan? I have to renew my Succubus contract." Said Nick as he jumped over the counter.
***
Antonio's Pizza:
The Pizzeria had spent various months closed as there were various legal disputes that prevented Antonio's next of kin to deal with the pizzeria. One of the siblings, Cesare Casole bought his siblings out of the Pizzeria, as he knew of Antonio's shady connections and was hoping for a big payout. Cesare stood in front of the condemned building. "Tony, Ive kept your secrets... now they'remine." he whispered as he removed the boards blocking the entrance.
Once inside, Cesare flicked the switch. "Silly me, no power." He thought out loud. He heard a faint sound. It sounded like it came from the back. As Cesare entered the kitchen, he saw the Pizza oven now an exploded wreck. There was no trace of Antonio other than the stench of a burnt body. The only trace of Antonio was his pinky finger and blood on the chopping board. The sound could be heard a bit better now. It was a song. O mio babino caro to be precise.
"That sounds like Tony when he made his special pizzas." Said Cesare as he pulled a small flask from his coat. "To you, Tony, wherever you are. You will be missed." Cesare took a drink. "To think that the Only Casoles that followed the Family Businesses were You, me, an' Luca. Genaro and Regina, they were the good kids. Who scoffed at my 'dirty money' but they're eagerly enjoying now!" Said Cesare as he took another drink. The music got louderand Cesare walked towards the freezer. "Don't Tell me that Luca is down there usong the printer.Those playes have been made useless since Bush Sr." Muttered Cesare as he avoided the rotting meats in the freezer. Pushing a inconspicuous bit of wall opened up a door and a strong scent of Tomato emanated from below. Covering his face with a handkerchief, Cesare entered the secret passage down to the hidden bootlegging area from the prohibition days. Incredibly enough. It wasn't in the building's plans.
It was dark, so Cesare pulled out his cellphone and use the flashlight feature... "Shit! 20%! Better figure out, what's going on." Muttered Cesare as he walked towards the music. He turned off his phone the moment he saw light.
"Ma che cazzata!" Muttered Cesare as he entered the room and saw the printer dismanteled and turned into a makeshift pizza station. The boombox was playing an opera CD, Antonio's favorite Disc. This was freaking Cesare out and when he tried to leave he stumbled upon him. A rotund man that looked more like a rotting burrata about to burst than a man. He had a fetid stench to him that made him seem more dead than alive. His malformed face looked like he was beaten with a bat and healed wrong, the missing teeth helped sell the image. It limped as he used an oversized Cleaver as a makeshift peg leg.
"Cesarino, Cesarino..." said the abomination in front of Cesare as it approached him. "Who would've thunk that it would be you who'd show up!" It moved way too fast for being so obese and with a Cleaver for a leg. Cesare decided to run for it. "Mmmm! Cacciatore Pizza!" Said the abomination as Cesare ran.
As Cesare tried to reach the exit, a gooey substance hit his hand. "Yaaargh!" Yelled Cesare in pain as he was burnt by the gooey thing that hit him. "Pizza, che cazza-" another blistering hot pizza hit him in the face. The abomination had switched the cleaver for a pizza cutter in order to catch up to Cesare.
"Cesare, you always were the Fredo... You sent Luca to do your dirty work... well, Here's Luca!" Exclaimed the abomination as he removed his chef's hat and a Meatball with Luca's face was gnawing at the Abomination's scalp. "You tried to fuck me over, Cesarino, after I had gone straight. Now I'll make you a pizza!" Cackled the abomination as Cesare realized that it was Antonio or what was left of him.
"Tony, Tony, it wasn't me, I swear!" Pleaded Cesare as the abomination chopped off Cesare's legs. The screams were drowned by Pavarotti singing La Donna è mobile.
"Antonio Casole is dead... only Pizzaface remains!" Said the abomination formerly known as Antonio Casole as he put Cesare's body through a wood chipper and used the ground meat to make a Cacciatore Pizza.
*Thwack!*
Something hit Pizzaface on the back of his head. It was a can of sliced pineapple. "Ma che cazzata! L'ananas non è un condimento per la pizza!" Said Pizzaface.
"Antonio Casole. Surrender or be exterminated like the vermin you are!" Said Elodeon as he stepped into the light before firing a blaster that left a Large pizza sized hole in Pizzaface's chest.
"Objective neutralized. We have 20 minutes until his regenerative factor heals him. Deploy a stasis cube quickly!" Said Elodeon as a squad of EPF agents entered the scene and collected Pizzaface.
"Excellent work kid!" Said Bishop via comms. "I believe Pizzaface was the last target on the list. Now we can ensure humanity's victory over Dregg."
"Negative, Agent Bishop." Said Elodeon "There are two more: Mary Sue and GameDude." Elodeon removed his earpiece and squashed it before exiting the building.