Syrus: a MuTeens Tale
Syrus: A MuTeens Tale:
Times Square: Syrus was staring at the screens and signs. Seeing families, couples, and everything in between.
"To think we nearly died to save all of them." He thought. "They are lucky. They live normal lives. I'm nothing more than a lab rat with a long leash. The closest thing to a family I have is Bertram and a Megalomaniac Cyborg DNA Source Material hellbent on world domination." Syrus kept on walking while deep in thought.
"Don't try anything funny dweeb!" Said a man who had put a knife on Syrus's back. "Gimme all your valuables."
"I would suggest-"
The mugger interrupted."Shut it, gimme the money or I'll stab you!"
Syrus sighed as his HellRayzor regalia began forming and a tendril twisted the mugger's arm.
"As I was saying, I WAS going to suggest you to abandon this life of crime before consequences caught up to you. If I was like you, I'd have stabbed you 47 times, count the blade tips poking out my back. I said count them!" Exclaimed HellRayzor as he walked towards the nearest police officer with mugger and knife in tow. Before reaching the police, HellRayzor released a small cloud of his hallucinogens. "Now you will relieve the pain you've caused on others!" Said HellRayzor before reaching a Policeman.
"HellRayzor!?" Exclaimed the Policeman.
"Officer, I'd like to hand over to you this criminal who has been mugging people here at knifepoint. Here's the weapon. Here's also a copy of my recording of the incident starting from the moment I realized I was being mugged." Said HellRayzor as he handed over everything to the officer. "Thank you for your hard work, Officer!" Said HellRayzor as the outfitchanged back to Syrus's civilian clothes as he blended with the people.
Syrus kept on walking until he passed a Mexican restaurant called the Pink Taco.
"I am unsure if Nicholas or Ashley would love this place." Syrus mused as he snapped a pic of the sign. "It is rather funny how much I suddenly care about the Cades. I respect Ashley, because she's honest, but scary. I used to dislike Cade, Nicholas, but now... I see through his charade. He says he doesn't want to be a leader. He just tries to carry everyone's burden while pretending it's easy. Despite everything he tries to make sure we are alright." Thought Syrus as he kept on walking. Eventually he reached Little Italy.
"Since I'm here, I should get some Cannoli for the Maraviglia Twins." Thought Syrus. "Carlotta has been nice to me and My Rival would be mad if I bring her sister cannoli and ignore her. While I'm at it, I should bring cannoli to everyone."
Syrus pulled out his phone and called a famous bakery in the area and put an order of 100 cannoli. Half traditional half with chocolate chips. He was told to come pick it up in two hours. This gave Syrus more time to contemplate NYC. He was sitting on a bench when a man and his daughter approached him.
"Syrus?" The man said. "I'd like you to meet my kid, Shadow... Shadow Jones."
"Jones? Wait... Casey!? You have a teenaged daughter? Hide her from Cade!" Said Syrus. "Hello, Miss Shadow." Syrus chuckled. "I apologize. You're the second Miss Shadow I've met. If I had a nickel for every time I've met a lady called shadow, I'd have two nickels! Which isn't a lot but it's weird that it has happened twice! Oh god! I'm even doing references!"
"Game- Cade rubs off on you that way." Replied Casey. "Shadow, Syrus is a friend from work and a friend of your uncles."
"Got it. Vigilante crap... since he looks too young to be a friend of yours, he must be a MuTeen. Guessing the Plague Doctor, because the other black dude is the Soldier Boy." Said Shadow bored. "At least it's not the Gameboy..."
"Shadow Jones, I am your biggest fan right now." Said Syrus.
"You know my uncles, right? I've seen enough weird crap with them that Superheroes are jot that interesting. Especially when they have lame powers like 'I'm a Nintendo!' What a dork!" Replied Shadow.
"Jones, forget about the whole hide your kid from Cade!" Said Syrus. "Cade's ego NEEDS THIS GIRL IN HIS LIFE!!" Exclaimed Syrus in an unnaturally excited way.
"So you want me to make fun of the Angry Videogame Nerd? That'll be $20!" Said Shadow.
"Shadow! We don't scam people! Much less friends!" Said Casey. "Besides, we're here for cannoli!"
"It must be fate then!" Said Syrus. "I'm waiting for a cannoli order to take to the MuTeens. I overordered and I need to unload some of these and you two get Free Cannoli and I get a live roast of Cade! It's a win-win! Also, Miss Shadow, $20 is too low. Have a Benjamin!"
"Looks like we're getting free cannoli and hit MuTeen Central." Said Casey.
"Yippee!" Exclaimed Shadow. "I'm excited about these being the easiest $100 I've ever made, not about hanging out with you dorks."
"Save some of that sass for Cade. That's why you got the hundred in the first place." Said Syrus.
***
MuTeens NYC HQ: Basement:
Syrus brought in the Cannoli which made My'lee, Conchita, Sam, and Grace abandon the mini arcade setup that Nick had. Ashley entered the internet and texted all MuTeens. Shadow is silent. Casey feels awkward as the only adult in the group. Redd walks in.
"Finally! An Adult!" Casey thought.
"You're the weirdo that hangs with the Turtles... Sporting Goods! That's your Superhero name right?" Said Redd. "Guessing the young girl that raoded Hot Topic is your kid. Since you'reon parenting duty, you beers are limited to two."
Redd brought two beers and sat with Casey.
"Parenting, best job and hardest job ever."
"You got that right. Sure, she's for the most part with her grandma, as I can't legally have full custody, due to living arrangements... and my job situation." Said Casey. "I moonlight as a handyman on the building I live... I could've gone pro, but I fucked my life after pops got killed by the Purple Dragons." Said Casey while drinking his beer. "Got hurt in a fight and my hockey dreams went poof!"
"Now you hang out with a bunch of freaks and weirdos on a world that's leaving you behind as you try to make it safer for your kid." Said Redd.
"So this is my future. Moping around about getting old as the world gets more insane because we want to make it better for our kids?" Said Nick. "Two beers and a Pepsi coming up!"
Exclaimed Nick as he brought the drinks.
"Casey, what brings you here?" Said Nick.
"Free Cannoli." Replied Casey.
"The Best kind." Said the three of them.
"Shadow, C'mere! I want you to meet my pal, Nick! He's the gamer dude! GameDude!" Said Casey.
"What a lightweight." Slurred Redd.
"Crap! You guys drank some Zagam! That beer needs to be heavily diluted as it's Demonic Ale. You guys need to drink about a gallon of water in the next two hours!" Said Nick as he took the Zagam bottles from Redd and Casey.
"Wait did you just say Demonic Ale?" Asked Shadow. "Hey!"
"Hey! Right back! See the fridge, bring me 4 bottled waters, NOW!" Yelled Nick as Shadow went quickly after them. He pulled from his inventory a few hosts from the time he went to Mexico and put them in Casey and Redd's mouths. Shadow returned with the bottles.
"Please bring another pair." Said Nick as he had Casey and Redd wash the hosts with water.
Shadow returned with the two bottles. Nick gave the bottles to Redd and Casey.
"Casey, Redd, Drink more water. It'll dilute the alcohol and prevent poisoning. Luckily I stopped you before you drank a dangerous amount." Said Nick. "Sy, you and Bert have grill duty! You guys need to grill lots of chicken!" Sy nodded and went to the fridge to pull out bags of thighs.
"Hey kid! Sorry for yelling earlier, but When I realized that Casey and Redd had drunk Demonic Beer, I had to intervene. By the way, who ARE you?" Said Nick.
"Shadow Jones... as in Casey's Daughter. Damn! I'll have to return Mr. Syrus the $100..." said Shadow.
"Up those stairs, make 2 lefts and you'll find the grilling station with Syrus" said Nick.
Shadow followed Nick's instructions and saw both Syrus and Bertram working hard at the grill.
"They're busy, I'll just hand over the money later." Thought Shadow before returning downstairs.
She accidentally bumped into Barbara.
"You're Mary Sue! Super Strong, Super Smart, and a complete badass!" Exclaimed Shadow.
"Don't forget everyone likes me." Said Barbara while giggling. "You must be Casey's Daughter. He's been sob-calling your name!"
"Literally 30-seconds. Hold it, Dad! I'm coming!" Yelled Shadow.
"Just talked to Syrus. He said keep the hundred. You'll have plenty of chances to knock Nick's ego a few pegs." Replied Barbara as she smirked. "Someone has a little crush on Nick too!" Teased Barbara.
"No I don't! He's a big dork! You'd have to be a moron to fall for that dweeb!" Exclaimed Shadow.
"Well, lucky for you every girl in this building is a moron, starting with me! Queen Moron." Said Barbara. "Nick's a good sport. You can roast him hard and he'll be OK because you're a friend of the family. Also, being a cute girl has his advantages, like he'll simp hard for you. He once faced an entire military force to save me."
"What a simp!" Said Shadow while blushing. "But it's kinda cool. I can't have a boyfriend because my dad scares boys away." Said Shadow.
"You know the big cyborg who got drunk with your dad? That's My Dad. He dropped a couple of suitors in jungles for a weekend just to see them freaked out. Nick's the only one who freaked my Dad out by heading to civilization and returning Home before he managed to pick him up." Said Barbara. "That was before we got our powers. I can tell you more if you'd like!"
Syrus brought the first plate, deep fried chicken thighs for Casey and Redd with a side of watermelon.
"Syrus, this seems a bit racist." Said Redd.
"Chicken has cysteine which helps the body produce glutathione. Watermelon has L-citruline, which increases blood flow, and high in water content to rehydrate. That will prevent the bloody hangover. Also, have some bananas. Potassium helps too!" Replied Syrus.
"You heard Urkel, Robocop!" Said Casey as he ate some chicken. "Dude! This chicken is the tits!"
"No, those are thighs." Replied Syrus. "Chickens are not mammals and wait you were using slang." Syrus returned to the grill as Berteam was finishing the next plate.
"Yo Nick pull out the shredded cheese from the fridge!" Said Bertram as he brought chicken strips, warm tortillas and grilled veggies for fajitas. "Yo! Build yourselves some fajitas! Nick, when Syrus comes down, please take the coleslaw from the fridge!" Exclaimed Bertram before returning to the kitchen. A few minutes later Syrus came back with 2 rotisserie chickens. Nick brought the coleslaw and served himself some.
"May I have some breast?" Said Nick.
"You rarely eat chicken breasts, Cade. What's the catch?" Replied Syrus.
"You and Bertram did the cooking. You guys deserve the best part of the chicken." Said Nick.
"Amen to that." Replied Bertram before sitting down to eat. " We forgot to say grace."
"Grace." Said Nick.
"Not funny, Dad!" Replied grace as she was wolfing down a fajita. "Uncle Sy, Uncle Bert you guys are amazing in the kitchen! Your chicken is 10 times more delicious than the old man's."
"That was an air fried chicken because I was lazy. You haven't tasted my arroz con pollo." Replied Nick.
"Cade can make a great Rice and beans, especially when he makes beans with ham hock!" Said Syrus.
"Wait till she tries Alicia and Carlotta's pasta." Said Bertram. "We're lucky that the MuTeens and family enjoy cooking so much!"
"Also, Ashley makes an amazing Beef Wellington." Said Barbara. "Ooh! We need to get stuff so Natsu can make Okonomiyaki. No, she won't dress up as Ukyo, Nick!"
Everyone seemed to be having a good time. After enjoying the meal and the cannoli, it was time for Casey and Shadow to leave.
"I'll escort them home." Said Nick.
"Calm your hormones Cade, she's 13!" Said Syrus as Shadow blushed. "I'll accompany you just to ensure young Miss Shadow gets home safely without you trying to make her your secret girlfriend."
"Shadow. Nick's a good guy, but you're too young for a boyfriend and he's the last guy I want to see you with... nothing personal Nick. Having one of my broskis go out with my kid feels weird." Said Casey. "When you're older, like 35, then you can date a guy like Nick, but not Nick. Nothing personal Nick."
"Joneses, Cade, let's go!" Said Syrus.
---
As the four were walking a group of Purple Dragons intercepted them.
"Well, well, well, if it isn't Casey Jones, two dorks, and a tasty morsel." Said one of the Dragons. "Jones is a little tipsy? Good easier to kick his ass."
"Shadow, behind us and watch over your Dad." Said Syrus. "Cade, say the word."
"Goongala" replied Nick as his hair went gold and Syrus transformed into HellRayzor. Summoning a lead pipe, Nick began beating one of the dragons, while Syrus used his abilities to fight off 3 Dragons at the same time.
"Ah, Jones and two Mute Teens." Said the massive Hun as he cracked his knuckles. "Christmas came a little late, but still came." Said Hun as he lunged towards Casey, but was repelled by Nick and Syrus.
"Beat it Junk. You're biting more than you can chew!" Said Nick. "HR, can you take him, while I escort the non-fighters or viceversa?"
"Take them. I will gladly take care of the garbage." Replied HellRayzor.
"Shadow, warap your arms around my neck and your legs around my chest. Hold on tight because I have to Fireman carry your old man." Said Nick as Shadow clung to him. As soon as I jump, it might feel a little weird, but trust me."
Nick charged a super jump and he gained the attributes of a Katanari while going up. As he began to land on the rooftop he deactivated the Katamari mode. "NANA-NANANANANA-NA-NA-NA, katamari damashii!"
"That was weird, but you're not so bad for a dork!" Said Shadow. "I would've used a portal gun..."
"You're not so bad for a dork either." Replied Nick. Shadow blushed. "We're temporarily out of reach for the purps, but We still got to move."
Down on the street the Purple Dragons began circling Syrus and Hun.
"You Purple Dragons are lucky that I am your opponent tonight. Had it been my compatriot, you would have been subjected to jokes about Dragon." Said Syrus.
"Dragon?" Asked Hun.
"Dragon DEEZ NUTZ over your face!" Replied Syrus as the enraged Purple Dragons went on the attack. Spikes coming out of HellRayzor kept the Dragons at bay. "I can see why GameDude does the joke thing... but it is not my style. My style involves Pain and suffering!" Said HellRayzor as he extended his spikes and scratching Hun and the dragons. The hallucinogens began their effect as the Purple Dragons began screaming in horror as Syrus began knocking them out One by One. Now only Hun remained.
"Your trippy juice doesn't scare me, boy!" Said Hun as he flung his fists at thin air. "I will find you and beat you to a pulp!"
Syrus kept dodging Hun's attacks even splitting in half to dodge a fist straight to his face. "Give it up! You are no match for HellRayzor!" Exclaimed Syrus as he punched Hun both on the face and on his back to knock out the final Purple Dragon remaining. Using garbage cans, HellRayzor transmuted bindings before calling the cops. He quickly vanished into the rooftops, where he caught up to the Joneses and Nick.
"Let me guess. I have to carry Casey, while you carry Shadow." Said Syrus.
"Of course, I still need to do my job and make fun of the Irate Gamer..." said Shadow with a hint of meanness.
"Calm your err... Take it easy Hot Topic! One thing is making fun of me but comparing me to a third rate AVGN copy, that's an unforgivable offense." Replied Nick. Syrus laughed.
"So you do videogames... can you do the floss from fortnite?" Said Shadow mockingly.
"You're lucky I like you, kiddo..." said Nick. "You're really pushing all the wrong buttons!"
Shadow laughed. "Dude, it's OK now. But in 20 years you'll be in your 40s and LARPing Super Mario." Replied Shadow as Syrus kept laughing.
"Well excuuuuuuuuuuuuse me, Princess!" Said Nick as he set up for a piggyback ride.
"Wow... Are you aware that I'm not 7?" Said Shadow.
"Van you jump across the street like Sy or I can?" Replied Nick. "Quit Heckling, you know you love this! Yo Case! Still with the living?"
Casey mumbled something unintelligible as both Syrus and Nick superjumped across the street. Once they reached the other side Shadow got off Nick's back and helped her dad to stand.
"I can take it from here!" Said Shadow. "It was fun making fun of Cousin Nick. Later Cousin Syrus!" Shadow helped her dad go down the rooftop access.
"It appears young Shadow sees us as family now. Better not mess this up, Cade. I think I'm starting to understand your hero complex. It's illogical, but it's feels good to do good!" Said Syrus as Nick patted his shoulder.
"Human interaction. No matter how superior one feels to others, we can't be without them. Sometimes it creates bonds that give us a place to call home. Sometimes it keeps demons in check and keeps them human." Replied Nick with a hint of sadness. Syrus took a mental note of this as he headed back home.
"I'll catch you later Sy, need to clear my head." Said Nick as he jumped to the street level and entered a sewer. Unbeknownst to Nick a figure was watching him.